Dana - All Kinds Of Everything

This song should be used to promote Prozac!
Happy St Patrick's Day, if you're of that ilk.

Mitzi's Photography

"Memory all alone in the moonlight I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then..."

Memories, everyone has them. These day modern technology can help preserve your memories, on premium paper. Invite Mitzi into your home (providing it doesn't smell of dogs) or to that special function. For less than a two week cruise on the Grand Princess she will capture your magic moments for you to enjoy again...

... and again

...and again

...and again

...and again

...and again

She also does Boudoir photography. Imagine his face when he opens the album! She captures your femininity in a truly unforgettable way.

"Thank you Mitzi, you've made me feel like a real woman!" Dolly Spruce from Grimsby

"I am the happiest woman alive" Dorothea Duckfontein Felch from a static dredger in Poole Harbour.

Hello I'm Shelly Duvall

Hello Shelly, I'm redruM redruM redruM... Click here to see Ms Duvall in the creepy redrum scene

Hoof Shoes

Aren't these shoes adorable? I'd love to wear them, striking different poses in front of the "cheval" mirror to the dulcet tones of charles Aznavour singing "She". However, clip clopping it for that night bus home, shod in a pair would prove a bit tricky. From the shoe museum

If you missed last week's coronation Street then you wouldn't have heard about Gail's fashion tip:

"Glam up an old jumper with a butterfly and a galloping horse."


Christ! What does she look like without make-up on?

Let Mitzi glamour o'er you a bit Gail.

Ahh that's better!



Well, it's an improvement!

Click TAAZ virtual makeover and see what it can do for you!

Britain's Most Glamourous Fatty

Humperdinck

Engelbert Humperdinck is to represent the UK in this years Eurovision Song Contest!

Lap Dog ?

Georges de Giafferi - Sado Maso

For all you French speakers out there, you're in for a treat!

Mitzi's Day Out

Where have you been today Mitzi? Did you visit the shimmering waters and sheer beauty of Lake Windermere?

or Whitby, with it's quaint little shops and cafes?

Perhaps you enjoyed the idyllic villages and the rolling meadows of the Cotswolds?

No it was none of the above. Today Carmen and I visited Grimsby, twinned with Libya, Grimsby is a seaport on the Humber Estuary in Lincolnshire.

It's not called Grimsby for nothing!

Driving into the town centre I made a hurried survey of all the boarded up shops, feral children smoking, pregnant horrors pushing buggies sometimes followed by a neanderthal youth wearing tracksuit bottoms tucked into his socks. Do I make a hasty exit or carry on? My upper lip is as stiff as the next British person's and so we carried on. We parked in Freshney's car park which is a busy shopping centre/market where you can find many fashionable items at discount prices, such as Ug boots for £9.99. Feeling a bit peckish we found a nice little cafe, I ordered the connoisseur's choice, a jacket potato with cheese. "Not after 2 o'clock" said the pig faced waitress wiping her nose along the back of her finger and then wiped her finger on her burgundy tabbard. Which left me wondering if a law had been passed. Was there now a curfew on jacket potatoes? "We'll go elsewhere" I replied. If looks could kill, I would have been dead. "You'ves left it too late ant yers?" she spat. "I'm sorry dear, I don't speak Mongolian". My top lip started to twitch. Quick, get me out of this shithole!

Grandma Walking Home

Dvorak's New World Smphony part II

Je t'aimais, je t'aime et je t'aimerai

Have you ever been in love? Then you must play this!

Gaily Tasseled Nose Warmer

January is an unpopular month in Le Mott Rouge household, February doesn't excite much enthusiam either, but at least it's arrival means that spring is just around the corner.



I haven't worn my nose warmer since a group of young lads jeered at me for wearing such a thing (at 14:37 on Christmas Eve 2002) I haven't dared.

Celery The Colon Toothbrush

Missing January Already?

Give A Diva A Break

New Joan Collins advert.