Well Said Iggy

Patsy Stone Working In A Shop

Today Is The 1st Of May

Let's celebrate it, with a May Queen and...



The Divine David Hoyle



...A dance around a Maypole.

The Telephone Doodle

She's quite a sketch!

Whilst in the middle of watching a television programme, I received a phone call from my mother, during the long, long, long telephone conversation I started to doodle, by looking at the above sketch can you guess the programme I'd been watching before I was rudely interrupted?

Well done all who guessed Olive from On The Buses. 4:50 weekdays ITV3, followed by George & Mildred.

Princess Reality Meme

Photograph courtesy of MJ

The lovely Princess over at Palais de Steff has nominated me to do one of those meme things. I thought memes went out with The Dooleys and chenille tablecloths, but apparently not.

1. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Absolutely nothing! Next!

2. If you could repeat any age... Which would it be?
I will be 19 again in May. I'm changing my age by deed pole. I can't wait to have never felt younger or fitter for the second time. I was a ravishing beauty when I was 19 (by Yorkshire standards) and used my stunning looks to good effect by making myself available for gang bangs behind the bus depot.

3. What really scares you?
Carmen's driving.

4. If you could become someone else for the day... Who would you be?
I would love to be Liz Windsor for the day. Out would go the Queen's boring dresses, coats and hats and in would come sexy new garments in leopard prints and black leather giving the Queen a sizzling new look, and with Queen Mitzi on the throne they'd be no stopping her. However, I won't have much time to go queening about as I'll be too busy indoors, robbing the place blind. But I'll make time to bare all for the lads with some saucy snaps. 

Anyone For Ring Toss?

Scarborough

I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said 'Do one thing every day that scares you' with those words in mind, we headed off to Scarborough, situated  on the North Yorkshire coast. Yes the same Scarborough Simon and Garfunkel sang about in their 1968 song Scarborough Fair 





We sat on a bench and ate chips from Winking Willy's chip emporium, just about where the two old bids are sat in the above picture. There, we overhead a woman talking to her friend " I've ad camera up me, three times and still they cunt find owt" a bit of Yorkshire dialect there, not for sensitive ears, it put Carmen right off her battered sausage. Carmen is still sulking about the car, I got rid of the Audi and bought a Toyota Hybrid, she doesn't like it, one bit. Tough!

 

 Lovers leap. The Spa Bridge where lovers and cider women would jump to their deaths. The council have now erected arch railings making it impossible for them to jump off.





Cat Shaming

I do spoil you people.

Cat shaming is a website set up for cat owners to publicly shame their troublesome felines. Pictures of cats next to a note detailing their various crimes.

I don't think this woman knows the meaning of the word clean, just look at the state of the place, the dirty slutton, no wonder pussy pissed on your work shirt,the poor thing probably couldn't find his litter tray underneath all that squalor.

Top Tip

Quote Of The Month

'I believe in keeping nothing for best, but using and enjoying things while you have them, instead of keeping them perfect for someone else, after you're dead.'

- Mitzi Flange nee Tremble

Ding-Dong The Witch Is Dead

Following the news of Maggie's death, Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead from The Wizard Of Oz is currently at number 5 in the itunes top 10. Maggie has only been in hell for a day. Lets hope it can get to number 1. Yes, let the joyous news be spread. The wicked Old Witch at last is dead!

Make Your Own Seed Pots From Newspaper

I used to spend hours as a child making these newspaper pots for my grandad, using a similar method as in the above video, except,  I used two strips of newspaper placed on top of each other and the newspaper was dampened using a sponge, they were left to dry and harden in the sun. As a reward for my honest labour, my grandad would allow me to have a puff on his pipe. Halcyon days!

Margaret Hilda Thatcher Is Dead

Let's celebrate her death with a naked conga!

You can leave your hat on.

Bat Pegs



For all your household tat essentials visit Suckuk



Wicker Baskets

Call me old fashioned, but I would like to see the return of the traditional wicker shopping basket on the high street, you rarely see them nowadays. Attractive and durable they can last you a lifetime and they don't topple over in the boot of the car.

Back from ye olde butcher shoppe I picked up some country fayre