Interlude

I'm Off On My Trolls!

I had a nice surprise at the ATM today. I went to make a cash withdrawal and noticed a wad of cash had been left behind in the slot by the previous user. I took it like a savage dog would a bone, I got into the car and counted £200. I gave half to Carmen, cause that's what we always do with our winnings at the bingo.

I'm going away tomorrow for some winter sun and I haven't even started on my packing yet, so it's flip-flop and away.

Holiday Reading:
Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadden
" and the Vicious Vet
" and the Haunted House

3 for £5 at Morrisons

Mitzi's Tatalogue Presents - The West Lothian Rose

A faux-genuine collector plate that people of taste will welcome into their homes. Crafted in fine bone china and lavishly bordered with genuine gold leaf. Susan - The West Lothian Rose is set to become a family hairloom which will be passed countless times from generation to generation and from brother to sister to charity shop. A magnificent work of portraiture, stuck on a surprisingly small plate as a timeless limited edition to pay homage to "The West Lothian Rose" Susan Boyle.

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Please accept my order for Susan "The West Lothian Rose". I've already cleared a space for it on the mantlepiece, in between the picture of my grandchildren I've never met in Australia and the fading , black & white photograph of my late husband being presented with his gold watch on the day he retired from the slaughter house, three weeks before he dropped dead whilst mowing the lawn. I enclose all the money I can find in the house.

Name...........
Address...........
Postcode..........

Send to: Mitzi Fingerhut The Dickie Mint PO Box 3 Leeds.

Petula Clark - Sailor

Petula Clark begging her sailor to stop his roaming!

Draft Excluders

Why have people stopped using 3ft long cloth snake draft excluders? Not only were they very stylish but pratical too. Buy one here today and save £s keeping out the cold winter chills. Hurray! 10 points to Slytherin!

Curtains

I've been to Debenhams today to pick up my new curtains, the design is called Wisteria. I don't normally choose patterned fabrics, but I fancied a change. Lets hope they don't attract greenfly.


Madge's Beef Curtains.

Bag TV

Enjoy DVDs on the move with bagTV

Be A Hamper Whore This Christmas

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat. Look what's on offer in Mitzi's catalogue of tat.

Mother's - Spread your legs & spread the cost of Christmas with:

We all know that Christmas can be an expensive time of year. But with Hamper Whores, you can make it cheaper by having sex with men. Hamper Whores are Britain's foremost prostitution Christmas Hamper Club. So start tricks today and you and your family could be enjoying one of our fantastic Christmas hampers.

"That you Mitzi, I went on the game last January, and today, I received a wonderful hamper, simply for having emotionless sex with 1000's of anonymous men"

"Legs up" Lucy, Ripon

"The creme de la creme hamper was truly amazing. My rear end now resembles a rusty scone cutter, but it was worth it."
Mrs. Wilson, Shropshire



Don't delay call 08448 111 800 now!

Whistling Serenade

I thought it was geese flying south for the winter that woke me up from my slumber early this morning, I roused myself vaguely from the half sleep and realised it was the window cleaner whistling Sex On Fire. Sensing fire in his loins, I pulled back the quilt and beckoned him in. When I managed to focus my eyes on the window he wasn't there he had gone on to do the bathroom windows. Shame, he can dunk his chamois in my bucket anytime.

A Day Of Chores

I cooked


I hoovered


I ironed

I am not happy!

Get well soon Carmen.

Patsy As Booberella

See the trailer for "Booberella" starts at 2:18

Rainy Day

What right have cows got to decide when it rains? I've just returned home from Morrisons and seen load of them lying down in a field with knowing looks on their faces.

The Proboscis Monkey

And what a fine looking beast he is! Read more about the proboscis monkey of Borneo here

Happy Birthday k.d Lang!

Being interviewed by Dame Edna.

Honesty Box

I have been experimenting with an honesty box this weekend, situated just outside my bedroom door, (payment for services rendered) and as you can see, it's full of 1s, 2s and 5 pence pieces. It looks like we'll be shopping at Lidl's tomorrow.

Free Bailey's

Fancy a bit of variety? Then get yourself a free sample of Bailey's with a hint of coffee here

Happy Halloween!

Need A Hobby?

Have you thought of becoming a taxidermist?

This stylish Ready-to-assemble elegant table lamp can be found at

WASCO for all your taxidermy needs.

Halloween Costumes For your Femme Son

You know Christmas is just around the corner, and what does every bitch-boy want to find in their stockings? why, a Gaylord of course.

The Rattles - The Witch

A great Halloween tune to play at your boo bash. Hope it doesn't cause you too much distress.