Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Monday, 27 November 2017

RIP M&S

It's not just abysmal, it's M&S Abysmal. I passed this frumpy display in Marks and Spencer today and just had to take a picture of it for your viewing pleasure. Would you go out looking like this? I thought not. No wonder clothes sales are falling and stores are closing left right and centre if this is the best they have to offer, even the pensioners in there were curling their lips at the clothes."But Mitzi, what is a vibrant young thing like yourself doing shopping at Marks' "I hear you ask. I was making my way down to the food hall, the only thing M&S excels at is selling it's over priced food. It's a shame to say it but bye-bye Marks and Spencer your day is done.

Atrocious. 

Sunday, 26 November 2017

Sleeping on The Job

Funniest thing I've seen all week.

Thursday, 23 November 2017

Petrified

I was recently asked by a good friend of mine if I want to be buried or cremated when I pop my clogs. I told him neither and nor do I want to be dipped into liquid nitrogen and vibrated to dust thank you very much. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want is to be petrified at the petrifying well at Knaresborough in Yorkshire. I would make an attractive garden ornament, clad in a white Grecian gown and sculptured by mother nature herself, my final resting place will be in the border of a country cottage garden standing amidst a wild rose bush and back lit surrounded by a manicured lawn. I paused to reflect... Beautiful. I turned to my friend and asked him what he wanted when he snuffed it, he didn't answer, he kept on staring at me with a knitted brow, his mouth agape as if to say you're not altogether plumb, are you?

Tuesday, 26 September 2017

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Weekend Away

 A weekend at Great Yarmouth filled with excitement, wonder and awe.

Written on a public toilet door.
Here is the lovely Lucy. Go on, give her a text and teach her a lesson she'll never forget!

Watching bowls on a dreary Saturday afternoon.
You cant beat penny falls on a wet day. My lovely prizes on the 2p pusher. That's the nephews Christmas present sorted.

Say it with flowers. In an Indian restaurant waiting for my dinner to arrive.
The Norwich puppet man he was doing the Macarena when I took this photo. See him in action here.

Our accommodation overlooking the Venetian gardens and boating lake.



Friday, 7 July 2017

Find Your Fun!

For MJ as promised. Photo taken in Benalmadena, Spain.

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

A Rose By Any Name

I usually walk past the 'reduced to clear' section in shops in case anyone sees me looking and thinks I'm poor but seeing that they wasn't anyone around the sacred aisle of Home Bargains I gave it my full attention.

Dumped amongst the dented tins and old packets of hair dyes was a tatty cardboard box containing a dead twig and the withered leaves of a rose bush, I pulled it out of it's box, the roots were tightly wrapped in a black plastic bag filled with ash by the feel of it and tied with a rubber band, a very sorry specimen indeed, I was just about to ram it back into it's box in disgust when I saw a tiny white shoot growing out of it's base. I took pity on it but didn't hold much hope. I bought it for the princely sum of 25p it had been £1.49 bargain! That was two years ago and look how it's repaid me.

Gnome also from Home Bargains.

Sunday, 11 June 2017

Saturday, 27 May 2017

Jazz Hands

This'll  keep you busy while I'm away.



Double dream hands and shimmy high. Camper than a Jane McDonald concert!

Wise Words From Miss Babs

"One of the worst aspects of homelessness is you really haven't anywhere to put a chandelier".

Lebanese episode of Acorn Antiques.

Thursday, 25 May 2017

Black Tights White Shoes

I was at the chemist today waiting for Carmen's prescription to be dispensed, terrible smell of damp in the waiting room coming from Jim 74, Langdale Crescent,  Pearl 66 from Thwaite Street wrinkled up her nose in disgust, that's her in the picture, wearing black tights and white shoes! 'Eww Fusty towels' whispered Lynne 58 from Hull Road. I've never seen these people before in my life and yet I know their full names, their D.O.B and their addresses including house number, one woman Margaret 63 from Mill Beck Court called in on spec to see if her prescription was ready to pick-up, (it was) she usually has hers delivered, but she's going away at the weekend to Wales and they'll be nobody at home, 'Oh, how lovely' said the gossipy chemist, where in Wales are you going to? Llandudno, she even mentioned the name of the hotel she'll be staying in. If I was a weirdo (please don't mock) I could ring up Margaret tomorrow evening at the mentioned hotel to say I've burgled your house, that'll teach the silly cow a lesson.

After a 20 minute wait Carmen 50, yes 50! was just about to confirm her name, address and D.O.B. to all and sundry when I piped in, 'show your driving license! you never know who's listening'. 

How to keep towels smelling fresh click here. Especially for Jim.