You may be wondering why I'm showing you a picture of my grandad's old walking stick, I recently bought a skipping rope with a built in LCD display including a mode that counts how many jumps you've done, my goal was to perform 1000 jumps a day, a bit ambitious for someone who has never skipped before, Thursday evening I was on my 934th jump when I heard something that sounded like a bread knife piercing through a cabbage, I felt something give in my right calf and I was brought down to my knees (a bit like in Bears Bar but only quicker), the next day, Friday I became a cripple, my legs refused to work, I could stand and shuffle my feet but that's all, it reminded me of the time I took a short cut through a farmer's freshly ploughed field and became stuck in the mud, unable to move. I've been using the stick to get around the house, though never in public, thanks to some Ibuprofen gel, it has greatly improved and I'm able to walk unaided.
In my incapacitated state I was able to observe my maid of all work doing her household duties, she sprays Mr Sheen on her stockinged toes then goes around the house dusting the skirting boards using her foot (and she has the nerve to call me eccentric), she reminded me of Sue Kent from Gardener's World.
Ha ha at the Sue Kent reference!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your injury. That'll teach you to treat Malcolm Mclaren's Double Dutch as an exercise video. Jx
I haven't heard that song in years. I'll resist the temptation to black-up in case Ching from over the garden fence sees me.
DeleteSorry to read about your mishap - but what were you thinking?! 1000 skips!!!!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes use a sock to do the dusting - but I put it on my hand! What the hell, I might as well save my back and use my feet when I do the skirts. Thank you for the tip.
Like your very contemporary looking landing, btw.
Sx
I was flicking through the channels and there was a boxer using a skipping rope to keep fit and I thought, I could do that and ordered one off Amazon, sadly, I don't skip like a boxer, more like a 6 year old girl. I might have another go on Wednesday, leg permitting, but just do 500.
DeleteSorry to hear about your mishap. Thank goodness it's improving.
ReplyDeleteSomeone bought me a gag gift of slippers with dusters on the soles. I use them when I can't be arsed to give the floors a proper clean.
I've been reading the reviews for mop slippers, someone is on their second pair!
DeleteI laughed at the Bears Bar bit, but then remembered your injury. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't Carmen keep you carpet and bannister woodwork and skirting boards nice and clean? Her Mr Sheened stockings work a treat!!
It wasn't anything serious.
DeleteYes, she does her best, however, her ironing leaves a lot to be desired. She also chews gum when she's on cleaning duty, any nooks and crannies she can't reach with her stockinged toes or her gnarled hands, she takes a length of gum out of her mouth and pushes it into the cracks and pulls it out, often covered in dust, I'm ashamed to say.
I'm sorry to be so late to the party, but I hope your pathetic old joints are doing better now. When I started reading about Carmen's latest crimes, and hit the part about her feet, i thought surely this was going no place good. I was relieved it was so innocuous.
ReplyDeleteOwld... owld!
DeleteIt was the shock at seeing 'pathetic old joints' that made me revert to using my old accent.
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