Saturday 27 January 2024

Thou Shall Not Be Common In Benidorm

There is some truth in the saying 'Red sky in the morning sailor's warning' or "shepherd's pie" if you're a div like my well-nourished maid of all work, Carmen, the above photograph was taken last Saturday, later that evening there was torrential rain and thunder storms. I haven't been sleeping too good, my fat arsed, over cushioned maid has been keeping me awake at night with her incessant snoring.


Brown toilet paper have you ever seen the likes?
(You can't tell it's brown from the photograph and you couldn't tell if it needed wiping again, just to be on the safe side and for peace of mind, I used the bidet.

She's all dressed up and ready to fall in love.



The ideal footwear for showing him who's boss.

A staff member at the hotel du bonbon, her friendly, fun appearance belied her true character, which was carping.

22 comments:

  1. I love Spanish fashions! We have an ongoing "contest" every time we're there - a prize for "the most fabrics/trimmings in one outfit", "best unintentional drag queen lookey-likey", "ugliest dog", "weirdest coloured rinse" and "best mutton-dressed-as-lamb", among other categories. Jx

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    1. Hahaha. I wish I could follow along with you just for the commentary!

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  2. Me too, they just don't give a shit. I popped to the Masymas the other day and saw an elderly woman who had a look of Jennifer Pattison about her, she was wearing a red lycra cat suit and gold 4 inch heels, she was using a walker the sort with wheels and a seat. I've seen a lovely outfit for Scarlet at the indoor market.

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    1. I imagine Ms Scarlet will be thrilled! Jx

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    2. Ahem. Please can you post a picture of said outfit? I have returned from the fainting chaise and now feel able to cope with whatever ghastly item of clothing that you feel might suit me. I have matches and a can of petrol at hand.
      Sx

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    3. Welcome back Scarlet. I've just checked my phone and can't find the photograph, I'm bitterly disappointed.

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    4. I've found it, it was hiding in an unfinished post of photographs called Tablecloths, give me 10 minutes to write the captions.

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    5. I am on the edge of my seat!
      Sx

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  3. You rarely see spanish old ladies with grey hair. I took a picture of one today with grey hair but she had red streaks in it, I really wanted one of her face as she had black lip liner half an inch thick bordering a vermillion painted mouth and green eye shadow on her lids to match her jacket. I'm sure Scarlet will be thrilled it's a Stevie Nicks meets Caprice Stickles number. The next time you're in Morrisons or at a newsagent have a quick flick through Viz to see if they have printed that tip for chip shop scraps.

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    1. Nothing so far, but they do have: "Make your child a delightful mermaid action figure by simply gluing the top half of Barbie to a mackerel fillet." Jx

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    2. PS I've often wondered whether old Spanish ladies have mirrors... Jx

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    3. There's a tin of Pilchards (Carmen's) in the cupboard coming up to it's expiry date, that's the great niece's Christmas present sorted. I've had snippets published in various magazine including Viz, under made up names of course and always from Hull, my mother's birthplace. I've kept them in a folder.

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    1. Whatever for Mr P? You'll have your turn to make us envious when you visit Paris/Venice in the spring, and don't put up with any shit from the stuck-up waiters in France, they tend to look down their noses at English speakers, just remember it's them working for a pittance not you.

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  5. That sky in the first picture is gorgeous! I hope you had a nice trip! These high heels don't do anything for me. That animal print though, am I the only one seeing faces?

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  6. Edward Munch's The Scream comes to mind.

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    1. HAHAHA! I saw mirrored face like evil "Wendy's" logo and smushed in tiger face at the bottom.

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    2. I know what you're talking about and I see it, one of those establishments have opened in our area, a creepy goat face Wendy.

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  7. So lucky in Benidorm, Malaga, Torremolinos, Nerja, Tossa del Mar, Marbella, Sitges and other fancies of Spain, olé !
    And the spanish ladies are getting to be like their vain sisters in South America. :-)

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    1. Imagine having that woman's nerve in your tooth.

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  8. Had to come out of the shadows and state for the record that I wish wish wish I could be there and feel the feeling. My God the peoplewatching -! These pictures and your commentary -! It's like Laughlin minus the Harleys!

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  9. Thank you, peoplewatching is a favourite pastime of mine, however, my maid of all work Carmen, is slightly hard of hearing these days and is difficult to talk with her without raising my voice, especially when the people I'm talking about are within earshot.

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