The Gift of Tat

It's Pat and Roz's big day they are getting married. These beautiful, elegant, rotating, wind-up musical lesbians would look exquisite in any parlour and a bargain at only £8 each. Roz plays the lesbian classic Love and Affection by Joan Armatrading and Pat plays Hedonism by Skunk Anansie.

Mitzi's top tip, when visited those types of establishments it's useful to have  a pencil with a rubber end in your back pocket or if you're common behind your ear, that way you can rub out the original price and add your own.

A jilted woman's bridal gown is another woman's cut price dream wedding dress.

For Mr DeVice. A Fanny Full of Flowers (back right, wearing a coolie) is the work of unrenowned artist Humphrey Bunion, hand crafted in finest salt dough, adds a touch of elegance to any home.

Cat tat for Mr Peenee and Dinah

For Jon to remind him of home. Too Good To Be Forgotten... I wonder what Amazulu are up to nowadays.

Tat for scarlet and Mago.

More tat for Scarlet as requested. Baskets can be silent or creaky, personally I like a creaky one. Here's a collection of fine looking baskets ideal for an alfresco nosh in the park or for traipsing a mile and a half into a Devonshire village each morning with a shopping basket placed in the crook of your arm, telling everyone you pass that you shop local to keep the high street alive.

Carmen's collection of tat, she inherited from dead relatives, housed in the downstairs toilet.

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For MJ not one of mine, but the thought was there.

All photographs were taken by Carmen who knows better than to question me, sadly she couldn't take a photograph of the swinging egg chair for MJ because there was a child swinging wildly in it, whilst the pandering parents stood about laughing in an affected manner, I was hoping it would come off it's hook, crash landing into the crockery opposite.