Again, this morning, she came in smelling of it, it can't be mine she's wearing, I've hidden it. I came downstairs and found this on the kitchen table.
Thursday, 6 August 2020
Carmen's Creed
My maid of all work has become very uppity since moving to a house with a higher council tax band than the last one. Tuesday (or chewessdee as my maid pronounces it) morning, she came bursting into my bedroom without knocking, carrying the breakfast tray and reeking of Aventus Creed, my Aventus Creed! I narrowed my eyes at her and with my lips pressed hard together to form a mean slit, I can do that now the Botox has worn off, I picked up the porridge and lobbed it at her head. That's for taking liberties with my Creed.
Again, this morning, she came in smelling of it, it can't be mine she's wearing, I've hidden it. I came downstairs and found this on the kitchen table.
Perfumer's Choice No 9 I picked it up and sprayed some on the back of my hand, it smells amazing, just like the real Creed, she bought it from Amazon £12.50. By keeping silent she had fooled me into thinking it was the real thing, if she had said from the start that she is wearing a cheap Creed knockoff, I would have said it smells nothing like it, she's is getting very cunning.
Again, this morning, she came in smelling of it, it can't be mine she's wearing, I've hidden it. I came downstairs and found this on the kitchen table.
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Honestly, do not worry. I have tried these knock-offs, they smell divine for thirty minutes, and then begin to smell like old socks, or something equally rancid.
ReplyDeleteSx
Eau de toilette publique. A bit like the cloying Youth-dew that my mother wears. *gags*
ReplyDeleteI'd be wary of that combination, if I were you. I'm sure you wouldn't want Wolverine and the X-Men trashing your new home looking for Victor Creed.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want them trashing my house but if I came home and found them all in my bed, I'll give them 24 hrs to get out. It's been a long time.
DeleteIf she were truly cunning (and thrifty), she'd go to Sephora and get those wee sample vials of the real thing. I've saved a fortune in scent that way.
ReplyDeleteI don't think we have a Sephora in the UK, I've never seen any. Those tester bottles that they have on display in perfume shops can easily be slipped into one's handbag when the sales assistants aren't looking, it's more of a challenge in Spain where the sales assistants are always looking, like bastard meerkats.
DeleteAs Scarlet pointed out, you have to be careful with discounts. You don't want to be the one that the other people on the bus are looking at while they say, pointedly, "What the hell is that stench?"
ReplyDeleteI've been sat here thinking for ages about the last time I was on a bus in my own country, probably in the 90s.
DeleteI remembered. It was last year I used the Scarborough Park and Ride, terrible whiff of fly killer coming from a woman on the seat behind.
DeleteThere's always Nuttendiesel, but we don't want to go there.
ReplyDeleteTart fuel?
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