As you know I'm not one for idle gossip, tittle tattling and tongue wagging, however, since I'm on my second glass of Malbec, Jam Shed, regular price £8.25, Tesco Clubcard price £7 I can feel my facial lips, loosening. Did I tell you about the time my older sister Jezabel, brought shame on the Flange escutcheon, dragging our family name through the mud by running off with a fairground roustabout called Smiggy, she was 18 and he was 22 with greasy blonde hair, he worked the waltzers spinning the cars, "Scream if you want to go faster" said the man in the booth over the tannoy, my sister screamed, in a way that cats do when they're in heat bringing Smiggy to heel, he spun our car I can still see his tattooed hand and silver buckle ring gripping the rim of our car as he spun us, the ride eventually stopped and we got off, my sister started clacking her chewing gum, looking over her shoulder coquettishly at Smiggy as we left. Jezabel! She ran off with him when the fair ended, she rang home a week later in tears, begging my mother to pick her up from a travellers camp site near Tyne and Wear, mother was appalled, and I was straight on the phone to report my findings to Grandma who was equally appalled.
You will be pleased to know that I am now covid free, it was nothing really, just felt like a mild cold with hot flushes, light headedness and the occasional gasping for breath everytime I exerted myself.
I'm not keen on the change of lyrics, it's not necessary, it's the look of sheer joy on The Wild Tonics faces that makes this video.
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Interesting read.
I'm often asked to write my memoirs, but where do I start? Miss Flange's School Days? |
Jezabel and Spiggy - what a lovely couple. I can imaging the vicar's face when he had to read the vows... I always guessed you were from a family of slags.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the Fratellis doing Baccara! That was utterly joyful - just what we needed. Jx
I prefer loose morals. It all ended badly for Jezabel and Smiggy, however the next day she got friendly with Gary, and the time she answered the door to the milkman in her nighty with... oh no I can't.
ReplyDeletePlease do.
DeleteI'm leaving the area soon, moving to pastures new and I'm also wallowing in nostalgia and feel the need to purge. Hang on a mo while I pour myself a large Mavrodaphne. That's better. It was during the summer holidays, both my parents worked and so it was my sister's duty to look after me, it was either that or get a job, anyway to cut a long story short, she answered the door to the milkman wearing a flimsy nighty that left nothing to the imagination, she was gone an age, how long does it take to pay a milkman, I peered out of the kitchen window and I could see my sister standing there at the door giggling and I noticed one of her 'yoghurts' was out on display, I opened the kitchen window and called her a trollop and I called him a few choice words too.
DeleteNothing like a red lip and an enthusiastic wiggle to emphasise a broad smile! I think Jezabel knew this too.
ReplyDeleteSx
They are using their feminine wiles to get noticed by the lead singer, the scheming harlots. I used my wiles to get a discount on my new iPhone, the young man who served me at Curry's was very willing, he even put it in for me, the SIM card.
DeleteA line from Goldfrapp's "Twist" springs to mind: "Swarfega fingers, I want you there."
ReplyDeleteI want to run away with you, your caravan and rabbit stew. Such poignant lyrics.
ReplyDeleteHe only wanted her to clean the inside of his caravan, he shared it with 2 others, I told my gran, she blanched then called her a raggle taggle gypsy ho!