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| No, that's not Carmen you see nursing a cup of coffee, but you would be forgiven for thinking it was. |
The maid and I visited Castleford on Friday as part of our coarse and common tour 2024*, we couldn't leave without sampling the delights of this indoor market cafe. We have used this cafe before and was served by the same red tabarded old lady, the one with the oversized dentures, gleaming inside a small wizened mouth, Carmen ordered a bacon sandwich and I ordered a cheese salad sandwich (no cucumber) and then the waitress asked me if I wanted any... wait for it... Pan-Yan in it! What's Pan-Yan I asked, her mouth puckered like a cat's arse, in an expression of incredulity, Carmen butted in saying it's pickle like Branston only lighter in colour and that started a conversation about bleeding Pan-Yan. I wish they would stop talking so I can scoff at the stall opposite, selling artificial flowers.
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| The product was discontinued in 2000. |
You might be wondering what's inside the plastic bag on the chair, I shall tell you, hand patted and rolled butter priced £3, a small wedge of cheese £4.50 and a quarter of Lion's Midget Gems £1.50 and half a dozen breadcakes £2.50, in future, I shall get my wares from Waitrose, it's cheaper!
Does the sign on the wall makes sense?
*We like to visit towns and cities considered to be undesirable, last year we took in the sights of Hull, Grimsby, Bury and Goole, to name but a few. We also visited Bradford but I refused to get out of the car, don't ask.
PanYan!! I haven't had that since the 1970s - it's still available?
ReplyDeleteNo, that sign makes no sense, but then again, neither does paying £3 for a pat of butter. Jx
PS We once had the misfortune to be stuck waiting for a train back to civilisation from Barnsley, of all godforsaken holes. Nothing seemed to be open, so we hopped on the shuttle to Sheffield and had a far better time!
No, it was discontinued in 2000, there is a recipe for it online, I don't like the look of it, I'll stick with Branston if you don't mind.
DeleteWe did Barnsley a couple of years ago, Carmen made contact with someone on Grindr who wanted a BJ in the indoor market toilets. I went shopping.
All these place names sound so very British and thus, to my ear, terrible exotic and charming.
ReplyDeleteAnd you would be right Mr P. I often wander along the palm tree lined Avenues of Hull (also known as the Beverly Hills of Yorkshire) shopping in exclusive boutiques with my maid of all work Carmen in tow, it can be exhausting.
DeleteMr Peenee just made me snort!
ReplyDeleteThat sign - all the right words in the wrong order - and I misread it as homemade poo.
Butter? Is Margarine not good enough? Remember, there’s an E.Coli scare going on.
Sx
I had a chuckle at Mr P's comment.
DeleteThank goodness for that I thought I was being incredibly dense.
The stall did have fancy bunting around it so It could have been 'mock butter' from an old war recipe, made from pork dripping and petroleum with butter flavouring and sold as butter cashing in on the D-Day celebrations. I prefer Flora lighter myself.