Thursday 25 May 2023

Big Tim

Mitzi, my elusive butterfly! Greeted my friend 'Big Tim' in a busy cafe, our meeting wasn't planned, I only popped in for a cup of tea after visiting the dentist, and there he was, with his mother Grace, who is deaf as a post. I didn't know where to put myself, 'sit your fanny down here' he said patting the seat next to his. I met Tim in a pub when I was 18 (just over 10 years ago), standing 5ft 3 and quite slim I asked him why do they call you Big Tim? He pulled down his pants right there in the pub and showed me, 'Ooooh Big Tim' I cooed, it was like a baby's arm clutching a Cadbury's Creme Egg. 

To be on the same wave length as Tim you need alcohol and lots of it, I don't drink during the day. He was looking tanned so I asked if he'd been on holiday 'If you check your emails once in a while darling, you would know... he gave a rare pause from talking and gave me a theatrical glare, slowly turning his head away from me with his nose in the air (affected thespian!) though I don't know why I bother because you never reply to them.' he further added. He calls me his elusive butterfly (soft sod and slightly creepy) because I don't use Facebook, I once made the mistake of joining Friends Reunited and was inundated with people I hadn't seen in years wanting to meet up for a coffee, that put me off social media for life, seeing people I went to school with, looking so much older than myself, depressing. It's a bit of a bitchfest too, don't you think? When you're in company and someone says 'Do you remember so-so? Well... tap tap tappity tap this is what they look like now' and then we cackle. I apologised to Tim I should have told him I don't use that email address anymore, I've been locked out of yypp_hotmail address for over 2 years, I still use it to fill in my details to leave comments on wordpress etc. I don't have all the security info it needs to recover it, not surprisingly really, past security questions: 

Mother's maiden name? Honey-Saint Moritz. Who's going to guess that?

First pet's name? Princess Ann (without an e)

I have them written down in a book somewhere, can't find the book.

11 comments:

  1. Oh dear! I'm thinking I might have to change some of my phony names. Some sound horribly like yours...
    And on a totally different track...came home from shopping today and spotted a flower I'd never seen before. In a pot. Tucked behind the indigo plants. Rotheca incisa. Damn' thing's been sulking for so long I'd forgotten it! Pity you're not closer, I could give you a cutting, but you'll just have to make do with Google, dear!

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    1. Rotheca incisa would take pride of place in my front garden for my tree hugging, next door neighbours to gawp at in awe. The things I find in the garden never ceases to amaze me I was weeding the border the other week and found several walnut saplings that had been planted and forgotten about by the squirrels, I knew they were walnuts because when I pulled them out they still had their shell attached.

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    2. I would love one of those "Musical Note flowers", too! Jx

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  2. A couple of years ago I lurked on Facebook to look up people I knew from school, and I was left wondering when and where they learnt to read and write as they certainly didn't know how to during lessons. I was in awe that they'd even managed to open a FB account.
    It's DOB with me - I have several, and I rarely make a note of which one I've used for my passwords.
    Sx

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    1. I lurk on Facebook every now and again, under a made up name of course.

      Rose Mott, Margaret Bracegirdle, Mary Coldbreath and Belle Widecunt are just some of security questions I've used in the past, characters from a book I started writing years ago and never finished about Blackpool landladies and the goings on in their establishments.

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  3. I am rather partial to a Cadbury's Creme Egg...

    As for social media, this site is it for me! I tried Friends Reunited but it was a bit of a desert, long before it died its inevitable death. I loved MySpace (that's where my blog actually began) until Rupert Murdoch fucked it up. Spent a very unsatisfactory twelve months on F***book before deleting my account. Not interested in all that "me-me-me-look-at-my-food/tan/babies/pets" shit, I just happen to enjoy blogging (even if it's just into the wilderness at times). Jx

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    1. I used to do a party trick with Cadbury's Creme Eggs, think Sticky Vicky!

      My eldest niece (the one I like) has a daughter with ginger hair and she dresses her in pink, and exposes her on Facebook, it's true!

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    2. Double-ewwwwwwwwwwwww! Jx

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    3. My maid of all work Carmen said I should try a Terry's Chocolate Orange, now there's a challenge.

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  4. I may have to give up computers entirely, I simply have no more passwords in me.

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    1. Another alternative would be to have an inbuilt device in the computer that collects blood from your jugular confirming your identity or something like a FreeStyle Libre permanently attached to your arm that can be scanned, be less stressful than thinking up or remembering passwords.

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