Big Tim

Mitzi, my elusive butterfly! Greeted my friend 'Big Tim' in a busy cafe, our meeting wasn't planned, I only popped in for a cup of tea after visiting the dentist, and there he was, with his mother Grace, who is deaf as a post. I didn't know where to put myself, 'sit your fanny down here' he said patting the seat next to his. I met Tim in a pub when I was 18 (just over 10 years ago), standing 5ft 3 and quite slim I asked him why do they call you Big Tim? He pulled down his pants right there in the pub and showed me, 'Ooooh Big Tim' I cooed, it was like a baby's arm clutching a Cadbury's Creme Egg. 

To be on the same wave length as Tim you need alcohol and lots of it, I don't drink during the day. He was looking tanned so I asked if he'd been on holiday 'If you check your emails once in a while darling, you would know... he gave a rare pause from talking and gave me a theatrical glare, slowly turning his head away from me with his nose in the air (affected thespian!) though I don't know why I bother because you never reply to them.' he further added. He calls me his elusive butterfly (soft sod and slightly creepy) because I don't use Facebook, I once made the mistake of joining Friends Reunited and was inundated with people I hadn't seen in years wanting to meet up for a coffee, that put me off social media for life, seeing people I went to school with, looking so much older than myself, depressing. It's a bit of a bitchfest too, don't you think? When you're in company and someone says 'Do you remember so-so? Well... tap tap tappity tap this is what they look like now' and then we cackle. I apologised to Tim I should have told him I don't use that email address anymore, I've been locked out of yypp_hotmail address for over 2 years, I still use it to fill in my details to leave comments on wordpress etc. I don't have all the security info it needs to recover it, not surprisingly really, past security questions: 

Mother's maiden name? Honey-Saint Moritz. Who's going to guess that?

First pet's name? Princess Ann (without an e)

I have them written down in a book somewhere, can't find the book.