Sunday, 25 September 2022

Hotel Room Art

Where to view: Bellver Hotel Palma, Mallorca. Make art with your left over Polyfilla? Simply divide the mixture into two bowls, squeeze teabag juice in one and stir until the desired colour is achieved, with the other you could use some coffee grounds, slap it on haphazardly with a palette knife over a stretched canvas, et voila, 50 quid please. The Works have a fine selection of canvasses on offer at reasonable prices.


I quite like the above artwork; I just thought it could have done with a bit of something, some colour or copper fragments in it. I have seen worse in hotel rooms, such as the ubiquitous close-up of a flower that screams Wilkos.

Artwork above the beds.


The maid and I are both nursing colds, we caught it off a French woman (not in a lesbian way) she forced her way into the lift with us on the morning we were leaving Palma, I noticed her eyes were rheumy and she was sniffling a lot and then the arrogant she-frog began to sneeze, her lanyard said she was with the Laforet convention (French estate agents), I could have throttled her with it. The next day back at home I could feel that familiar tingling sensation in my nose, usually the first signs of a cold and the day after that full blown catarrh, with extra dripping. I'm over the worse now, so I'll put away my bed jacket. 
 

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10 comments:

  1. Jon25 September 2022 at 22:15

    Whatever that is, it ain't art!

    Warning for the future: keep away from snotty Frogs... Jx

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    1. Mitzi 26 September 2022 at 20:23

      I think the reason I like it is because it reminds of the kitchen tiles I had in the old house (left by the previous owners). Snotty arrogant frogs, they look at you as if you're muck, at least the Germans greet you with a 'morgen'.

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  2. ProximaBlue26 September 2022 at 06:14

    They look like "works in progress" to me. Well, at least you have a villain to be mad at? Cold comfort, I'm sure. My family was sick for a week. The kid was in school for all of two days and then brought home a cold. At least it wasn't "the virus" so that's my cold comfort.

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    1. Mitzi 26 September 2022 at 20:18

      I would rather have "the virus" than the dreadful catarrh. I should have sued the bitch.

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  3. The Mistress26 September 2022 at 16:56

    You could pick up the same works of "art" from the tip at a building site.

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    1. Mitzi 26 September 2022 at 20:20

      Reminds me of an episode of One Foot in the Grave when Victor was on his window cleaning round at a renowned artist's home he found one of the artist's paintings lying in a skip and took it for Patrick for a birthday present, it turned out to be chipboard from the bottom of a bird aviary.

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  4. Ms Scarlet27 September 2022 at 08:13

    I quite like the artworks because I like a bit of texture - but I agree that a stronger colour could give them a bit more zing.
    Sorry to read about the bug - typical estate agent though, only thinking of herself - I hope you've hexed her.
    Sx

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  5. Mitzi 27 September 2022 at 12:34

    I would try an acrylic pour over them, in gold and turquoise, I doubt the chambermaids would notice any difference.

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  6. Inexplicable DeVice28 September 2022 at 19:55

    I was going to say that they look like flimsy paysho/lanai paving slabs, but you kind of beat me to it with the floor tile reply to Jon.

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    1. Mitzi 29 September 2022 at 11:55

      The ones I had were kitchen wall tiles, according to Carmen, they were a bitch to clean.

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