On leaving my mother's house I was given a bag of rubbish to take down to the bin shed, oh the glamour. I opened the shed door and unwittingly walked head first into a spider's web, caking my hauntingly beautiful face with it's sticky white arse threads. I rubbed it off and thought no more of it, unbeknownst to me I had picked up a hitchhiker! On my return home and overheated from my exertions of having to open a bin lid all by myself, I took my jumper off, pulling it over my head, I felt something scurrying, around the back of my neck then on my left ear lobe and then inside the actual ear hole, I could feel and hear it's movements I was shaking my head like something demented, it finally dropped out on the floor, a spider, about the size of a 50p with a big hump on it's back, it looked angry standing up on the very tips of it's legs with it's hump raised, itching for a fight, I stood guide over it whilst Carmen got the hoover out.
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| The culprit. Thanks to Google Images I was able to identify it as a False Widow Spider. |
We've all had that mild ear burning sensation from time to time, there is even a phrase/superstition for it 'My ears are burning" meaning that someone is talking about you behind your back, I must have been the talk of the town as later that evening my ear had tripled in size and had turned purple and burning as if it was on fire, Carmen inspected it and said she could see two lots of puncture marks, luckily I had some antihistamines at hand. The swelling soon went down and after a few days it's returned to normal.
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| Throbbing and violently tumescent so much so the skin behind my ear started to crack. |
William Shatner in Kingdom of the Spiders comes to mind. Jx
ReplyDelete*Shudders* That was almost as bad as Joan Collins in Empire of the Ants. If there are any Hollywood film producers interested in making a film about my ordeal please feel free to do so. Felicity Jones can play the part of Mitzi, Julie T Wallace can play my maid of all work Carmen and Gwen Taylor can play my mother.
DeleteNo more sheds for you, young lady! Crikey, you do someone a favour and look what happens.
ReplyDeleteSx
I've had many a good time in a bin shed, you know, when needs must.
DeleteAs I was told by a fellow arachnophobe these terrible animals can survive being hoovered. Then they feast on the mites and whatever in the dust, become stronger, and finally burst open the apparatus !
ReplyDeleteI think your fellow arachnophobe has been reading too many Arthur C Clarkes. I was going to clobber it but those outside spiders with the big humps can be a bit messy when squashed.
DeleteWelcome to the club! I mean the spider bite club, not the bin shed shenannigans club.
ReplyDeleteVery glad it was a relatively nice spider.GandT usually helps.
Thank you Dinah, what sort of spider bit you, not one of those huntsmen I hope? It was a worry, when it happened, I thought my ear was going to go black and drop off. I did have a Bailey's afterwards, strictly for medicinal purposes, for my nerves.
DeleteOh, dear. The ear is not a body part that should be associated with "throbbing and violently tumescent"...
ReplyDeleteSo, did the spider do the hoovering while Carmen ministered to your ear?
*Blushes violently*
DeleteI did my own administering with TCP whilst the maid emptied the hoover.
In retrospect the spider would have made a welcome addition on the Christmas tree, spray painted silver and hung on a silver thread.