I hid a bit of chocolate biscuit between my ornaments to see how long it would take my maid of all work Carmen to find it. It's been there for two days now!
I lost my temper with Carmen this morning, she had been busy in the garden, pruning, she kept coming in and out of the house leaving the back door wide open each time. "FOR FUCKS SAKE, WERE YOU BORN IN A FIELD?" As it turns out, she was. I can't say too much on here, because you never know who's reading, but she has agreed to go on a four hour speed awareness course, which allows motorists caught speeding to pay between £60-100 so as not to be issued with three penalty points on their licence. Damn those pesky revenue raising speed cameras, damn them all!
Why would you only eat half of a chocolate biscuit? Why would you do that????
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It was time to fill up the biscuit barrel and that bit was lying at the bottom. It is a chocolate covered Malted Milk Mitzi's biscuit of the week.
DeleteI would be thrilled to bits if you would offer us a "biscuit of the week" selection.
DeleteI just might MJ. I like to pronounce 'biscuit' like the french do and when I ask friends if they would like a biscuit they look at me gormless and say 'What's one of them?'
DeleteAn awareness course at £60-£100 sounds like a bargain!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you think so. Having points on my driving licence would have increased the insurance premiums.
DeleteYou just can't get good help these days...
ReplyDeleteThe Empress always says... "Shut the door!... Were you born in a tent?... one day one of my school friends replied... Well i was actually... I came early while the family were camping at the beach...
I think it was Larry Grayson who said "Shut that door, what a gay day" and something about Slack Alice from next door. My late sister dropped one of her children in a taxi!
ReplyDeleteOver here we say, "Were you born in a barn?"
ReplyDeleteI've heard that before, it must be a Yorkshire thing too, along with 'Put wood in hole' meaning 'would you please close the door. I have a friend who tells her dog to 'Put wood in hole' and it obeys her. 'Jigger, put wood in hole!' I better go now, the pills are starting to kick in.
DeleteI think you should share your biscuits and your pills. But not your wood, thanks.
DeleteI've been watching "Broadchurch" on BBC America and keep looking for subtitles, their version of "English" is so contorted, I have no idea what they're trying to say half the time.
I'm a very giving person Mrpeenee.
DeleteI know what you mean, accents baffle me too, especially the scottish accent. Many moons ago when I was just a young slip of a thing, I worked at a newsagents, a Scottish man came in and asked "I wannae Take a shite" I apologised saying we don't have any public toilets here, he roared with laughter, my hand hovered over the panic button, after mooching around the aisle he brought one of these to the counter and then he asked me if I fancied a fook. He didn't really say the latter, but I knew he was thinking it.
I was watching "Trollied" with a friend.
DeleteHe asked to have the subtitles turned on.
You couldn't function over here, Mitzi, without a translator.
Does 'your friend' use the audio description as well?
DeleteMy maid wouldn't leave chocolate about anywhere, the greedy bastard would have eaten it after two seconds of spotting it. Can't leave a bit of Suchard anywhere with that minx about. I'm obviously not smacking him hard enough. Come to think of it, he may well have been born in a field. I found him in one.
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My maid has a penchant for Terry's Chocolate Orange, she likes to tap it on her head!
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