Sunday, 23 December 2012

A Christmas Grumble

My gorgeous window cleaner, the one with buttocks so tight they look like two eggs in a hanky has sold his business and has moved abroad to Scotland. In his place is a man who looks like a 55 year old farmer with no teeth, who charges a pound extra to wash the sills.

A wreath of Franklins for your viewing pleasure.
 A Christmas card was pushed through my bristled slot this morning, inside, written in gold ink, the words "Merry Crimbo!"


The weather still has it's long face, but my spirits have risen slightly
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13 comments:

  1. LẌ23 December 2012 at 02:14

    I hope you and Carmen are safe from all the floods!

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    1. Mitzi 23 December 2012 at 13:52

      Yes we've been saved from the floods thanks for your concern, though the rain was battering the window pane when I went to bed last night and was still battering when I woke up in the morning. It's stopped now and a lovely blue sky has developed, think I will do a spot of sun bathing, though the wind is howling a bit.

      Delete
  2. The Mistress23 December 2012 at 07:28

    Have you considered taking sandpaper to your slot?

    Oh Hai, LX!

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    Replies
    1. Mitzi 23 December 2012 at 13:54

      I like my slot just the way it is, it stops the draughts from coming through, but my newspaper boy has a habit of sticking it in and leaving it out, which is annoying, I like it throughly in.

      Delete
  3. Unknown23 December 2012 at 13:26

    I don't have a bristled slot as I make excessive use of depilatory creams.

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    1. Mitzi 23 December 2012 at 14:04

      I've tried those creams but it says on the directions do not use soap for 24 hrs! 24 hrs without washing, I don't think so, I don't live in Eastern Europe thank you very much. I usually get Carmen to shave me, you know, down there!

      Delete
    2. Unknown23 December 2012 at 17:38

      I wish I had a hand-maiden like Carmen, she sounds divine.

      Tragically, I once had a disastrous mix-up involving a tube of toothpaste and a tube of Hair Removal Cream. They're stored next to each other in the bathroom cabinet and both tubes look almost identical, despite doing very different things.

      I ended up smearing minty Pepsodent all over my nether regions whilst the Veet hair removal cream melted off all the bristles of my toothbrush.

      Delete
  4. Princess23 December 2012 at 13:39

    Since when has Santa had a purple merkin for hair?
    I suggest getting in a brazillian to wax your bristled slot Mitzi...
    Merry Christmas...

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  5. Mitzi 23 December 2012 at 14:05

    and a Merry Christmas to you Princess.

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  6. Unknown24 December 2012 at 12:04

    Hello Mitzi,

    Apologies for posting this here, but I couldn't find an email address for you.

    Thanks for some great laughs this year and keep up your blogging in 2013. I've created a little Christmas card for you and Carmen and all your household, especially from moi.

    Here it is: http://tinyurl.com/cqkgkbq

    and the inside of the card: http://tinyurl.com/c3dbo3y

    Happy Christmas

    Fanny xx

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  7. Mitzi 24 December 2012 at 17:32

    Thank you Fanny for your kind words and Christmas Card. He reminds me very much of an encounter I once had in a bar in Palma called DARK. I was walking around the back room labyrinth opening doors and looking through the glory holes, I like to explore, I spotted Carmen tottering on the verge of entering a cubicle, she's found one! I rushed over as fast as my heels would go and saw him, he looked like a young Spanish Robbie Williams he was sat on the bar stool wearing next to nothing with his doo-dah out masturbating, grabbing carmen by the roots of her hair, I dragged her out the way and entered the cubicle and locked the door behind me, we were all over each other until I became aware of a gamey aroma, I sniffed my fingers and gagged at the smell, the dirty bastard had a cheesy cock! by the smell it hadn't been washed for a month, no, a year! I left the cubicle and saw carmen skulking in the distance I went over to her and said he doesn't want me, he wants you! I've never seen her move so fast in all my life, after five minutes I heard slurp, slurp slurp I went to the next cubicle next door and saw her through the glory hole on her knees, going at it, like a dog eating a hot potato. Dirty Bitch! No doubt scraping the cheese off with her teeth. She came out 10 minutes saying "Yes! I've still got it!" Then they was this time in Torremolinos... I'll save that one for another day.

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    1. Unknown27 December 2012 at 07:22

      And for the rest of the holiday, Carmen skulked around like the cat who got the cream?

      I once had a serving-wench who behaved in a similar fashion... came from a good family, educated at a Swiss finishing school.. however, she was hooked on Poppers and used to slink off and go cottaging when my back was turned. Dreadful girl.

      Delete
  8. Ms Scarlet24 December 2012 at 19:42

    Happy Slotted Christmas!!! Bristled or otherwise.
    Sxxxx

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