Friday, 27 February 2026

Flash

I am more determined than ever to own a dog, when I get settled in my new house, but what sort of dog do have you in mind, I hear you ask? I've always had a soft spot for English bull terriers the sort no-nonsense hairdo, Princess Anne favours. When I was a child my Grandma's neighbour underwent knee surgery, he asked Grandma (I used to call her Grand ma-maa if I was feeling extra theatrical.) if I'd be interested in doing a little job of taking Flash his white bull terrier for a daily walk while 'Mr' recovers from his operation. I was as keen as mustard. I'd seen Flash before but only from a distance so imagine my surprise when I knocked on his door and was greeted with something that looked very similar to this.  

Photograph courtesy of the internet

Flash despite his appearance had a lovely nature, very friendly and placid, however, he  had a tendency to pull on his lead, I was a thin and wiry 10 year old I had to use both hands to control him, then I had an idea, I was going to put Flash to work. Back at my Grandma's house I would slip out of my clunky Clarks Polyveldts (my sister's cast-offs) and into a pair of roller boots, I would glide the streets and parks like Queen Boudicca in her canine drawn chariot laughing manically and yet slightly regal. I was once thrown out of a childrens' playground and was called a menace by the Parky. 

Today I heard Carmen talking excitedly to someone on the phone, she thinks I'm interested in French Bulldogs, talk about Chinese whispers, she's going to get a shock when I show her a picture of Flash II. 

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8 comments:

  1. Jon28 February 2026 at 00:38

    Love it!

    For some strange reason, especially in profile, they always remind me of the late, great Leonard Rossiter. Jx

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    1. Mitzi 28 February 2026 at 20:03

      I've just been watching Leonard Rossiter in 2001 Space Odyssey, I couldn't make head nor tail of it so I turned it over for Antiques Road Trip. I think they look like Barbara Streisand, from the cover album of Barbara Streisand Greatest Hits Vol 2. I might call it Barbara if it's a bitch.

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  2. Ms Scarlet28 February 2026 at 11:45

    Go for it! Straight out of Oliver!
    I also recall a neighbour who had one when I was a kid, and it was a good dog - easy going and friendly.
    I thought about using a skate board with my current dog, Barney, but my bones aren't as young as they used to be!
    Sx

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    1. Mitzi 28 February 2026 at 19:57

      That's a good idea regarding the skate board, for the mature rider you could have the wheels modified so the board travels width ways instead of length. I'm sure Barney would love to take his mistress out for a glide, position yourself in an Asian squat and away you go. You might even make the ...and finally bit on News at Ten.

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  3. Inexplicable DeVice8 March 2026 at 13:23

    I've always liked English Bull Terriers since reading The Incredible Journey. They are funny looking dogs, though. But I see the Leonard Rossiter/BarbraStreisand look.

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    1. Mitzi 9 March 2026 at 12:27

      In our junior school in the late 80s we had an after school film night, the assembly hall was done out like a cinema, you would pay 10p to watch an incredibly naff film, one of them was Walt Disney's The Incredible Journey, it was years old then, one film night they had a showing of Ohh You Are Awful with Dick Emery, I enjoyed that.

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  4. Steve. Because 'Steve' is almost as nice a name as 'Paul'.22 March 2026 at 20:41

    You absolutely nailed the resemblance! Barbara Streisand! I love it! I am also 100% in favor of the English Bull Terrier. They're a great dog. While I love lil' Frenchies, they do tend to yodel. They do. Like they're standing on an Alp or something.

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    1. Mitzi 24 March 2026 at 20:04

      I showed the maid Youtube videos of bull terriers, she clutched her pearls and said, 'tell me you're effing joking' (only she didn't say effing, she said fucking) which I thought was very bold thing to say for a hired help. I'm quite fond of Frenchies too, I've been watching them perform on Youtube, think their yodelling will get on my nerves, like cats meowing.

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