Saturday 2 October 2021

The Dutch Reach

I've never heard of it either. 

When opening a car door from the inside, use the hand furthest away from the door as it forces you to look behind, helping you to spot any oncoming cyclists, pedestrians and prostitutes or failing that do what I've been doing for the past twenty *cough cough* years and use your wing mirror. My maid of all work Carmen has a glass back, if she made a movement like that she'll be in traction for a month and that won't get the washing-up done or the beds made will it? There is one chore I do enjoy doing and that is hoovering out the garage, sucking up all the cobwebs and spiders, ants and woodlice I like to imagine them all living happily together in the Sebo. 


I've taken time out from learning The Flight of the Bumblebee on the piano to bring you this patronising road safety presentation.


12 comments:

  1. Last time I had a "Dutch Reach" was in a darkroom in Amsterdam. Jx

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    1. That was a "Dutch Grope" Jon, I'll have one of those any day! I once had a dalliance with a Dutch flower delivery man in a layby many years ago, he gave me a big bunch of Gladioli. Is the Cuckoo's Nest still in operation?

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    2. When we were in the 'Dam in August last year (between lockdowns), we were told it was still open as a bar but the darkroom was closed. Unfortunately we weren't able to get there this year because of their quarantine requirements, so no idea if it is still going. The Netherlands had a terrible time of it in the "second wave", and I believe most places had to shut altogether (like in the UK) for months. We'll see. Jx

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    3. How frustrating for you. I had a look on their website and you'll be please to know that the darkroom has now reopened, I'm thinking about doing a Dutch dash, even though I vowed never to cross the North Sea again after what happened last time on the Pride of Hull Ferry, I was green around the gills, it wasn't sea sickness it was being in close proximity with the Hull mob.

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  2. I just yell "Heads up" and fling the door open.

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    1. I hope you've clipped a few and knocked them off.

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  3. I'm the same as Carmen! I can't do that movement either without being in pain for several days.
    I am looking forward to hearing you play Flight of the Bumblebee on the piano. It will cheer me up no end.
    Sx

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    1. I don't think I'll be giving any recitals just yet, my maid of all work did recognise the tune though, she called it The Funeral of the Bumblebee, catty cow!

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  4. I'm with you on looking in the mirror before opening my door. That Dutch reach seems excessive and I'm not one prone to excessive behavior. I'm both famous and infamous for my steely-eyed, even-keel approach to weather any storm in life. Sometimes there are causalities I suppose.

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    1. I find driving in the UK an absolute nightmare, we're a small island with a population of 68 million so you can imagine how congested the roads are, cyclists are a bane of my life and to goad me even further they have taken to wearing cameras on top of their helmets to report petty bad driving, like a school snitch.

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  5. Do you require a bit of Dutch Courage to do the Dutch Reach?

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    1. I would feel more confident about doing a Dutch Reach if I was wearing a Dutch cap.

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