It's difficult to enjoy a toasted teacake in a classy indoor market cafe in Castleford (oxymoronically speaking) whilst looking at a collection of dead flies hanging off a menu board.
In retrospect I should have gone for something sealed in a packet as the waitress had rainbow coloured hair and hand tattoos, she also wore a tabard over a sleeveless top with her bra strap showing and in a voice that could rival a foghorn she shouted "Toasted teacake!" and I putting my hand up saying 'Ere!' like I was calling house at bingo. All v common. Carmen looked at me appalled.
Oh, for Christ sake, IDV! That was the bloody point!
Sorry about that, Mitzi. The Host has already started afternoon drinking and it's affected his cognitive functions in record time. While I'm here, I'm glad that the genetically modified something-or-other sign is separating the scones sign and the hot sausage sign, otherwise I might wonder about that "clotted cream"...
Mitzi, I know you are a vegetarian, but see : Every bratwurst is a matter of trust. Crunchy Frog. Goes for anyhing raisin related too. Did the lady have nice tits ?
Avoid the Spotted Dick. Jx
ReplyDeleteI love any kind of Dick spotted or otherwise.
DeletePerhaps go for the Angel cake, just to be safe. Or go somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteSx
In retrospect I should have gone for something sealed in a packet as the waitress had rainbow coloured hair and hand tattoos, she also wore a tabard over a sleeveless top with her bra strap showing and in a voice that could rival a foghorn she shouted "Toasted teacake!" and I putting my hand up saying 'Ere!' like I was calling house at bingo. All v common. Carmen looked at me appalled.
DeleteI can imagine. Where do you think they got the "currants" to make that teacake?!
ReplyDeleteOh, for Christ sake, IDV! That was the bloody point!
DeleteSorry about that, Mitzi. The Host has already started afternoon drinking and it's affected his cognitive functions in record time. While I'm here, I'm glad that the genetically modified something-or-other sign is separating the scones sign and the hot sausage sign, otherwise I might wonder about that "clotted cream"...
You are having your afternoon 'lull', Mr Device. It happens to the best of us.
DeleteSx
I'm a bit perturbed that my afternoon lull hangs around for the evening, and is sometimes still present when I wake up!
DeleteIt did cross my mind.
DeleteDon't apologise it bumps up the comments, nearly double figures means I've gone viral!
The flies on the paper are treats for the people who bring their pet frogs with them.
ReplyDeleteWaitress's perks!
DeleteMitzi, I know you are a vegetarian, but see : Every bratwurst is a matter of trust. Crunchy Frog. Goes for anyhing raisin related too. Did the lady have nice tits ?
ReplyDeleteStop teasing me with thoughts of bratwurst, it's been over a week! I was referring to perks that come with the job, not the waitress's perky tits.
ReplyDeleteCarrots, perhaps ? There's always MrPeenee's ...
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