Skirlaugh Garden Centre and Aquatics is a hidden gem, situated in the East Riding of Yorkshire 7 miles from Hull, it's a medium size garden centre of many faces, you enter through the main door straight into a gift shop, I bought my maid of all work Carmen, a bar of bergamot and ginger scented soap, I know, I'm a fool to myself, but I have learnt that maids who know there are no lagniappes coming to them, can turn savage and there isn't a lock on my bedroom door! From the gift shop we made our way to the restaurant I just had a black coffee (I usually take it with milk but I was flagging with the heat, I needed a caffeine kick) Carmen had a banana milkshake and a huge slice of chocolate cake, the gormandising fat cow and she wonders why she's 17 stone with type 2 diabetes!
We saw a badly dressed transvestite at the garden centre, eyeing up a Sweet William, she was wearing a floor length cheesecloth skirt and clutching her pink gerbera, we looked the other way and pretended not to have noticed.
|The close proximity to Hull means I have to carry a vinaigrette of smelling salts in case I hear any foul language from the other customers or if I see anyone with oversized Nye Bevan dentures as worn by the over 80s.|
|I love scouring around old junk shops/house clearance places looking at priceless old tat from homes that good taste forgot.|
|Hilda Ogden and ceramic horrors.|
|Jilted Jill is destined to spend the rest of her days as Queen of the shit tip if nobody makes an honest woman of her.|
|Anything catch your eye?|