It was my maid of all work Carmen that found me slumped upon the kitchen floor, ashen-faced and babbling about lice. "Zut alors! Qu'est-ce qu'll y a meine herrin?" she said as she came to my rescue, she normally speaks English, but her recent DNA ancestry results revealed that she is 20% French, 5% German and 75 % Neanderthal and has a strong leaning towards the histrionics. I focused my eyes on Carmen's chatelaine as she fumbled for the hartshorn, but in her haste she wafted a bottle jungle juice poppers under my nose instead, that nearly finished me off, my head started to pulsate, it felt like a man with fat fingers was forcing sausage meat behind my eyes, the reason for my swoon, I shall tell you, I had found tiny minute insects inside a new bag of flour, on further inspection, so small they can barely be seen with the naked eye were maggots!
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| Cooties in my flour. |
I have been reassured that they are not from my spotlessly clean cupboard and that the eggs were from the wheat that have survived the milling process.
How to get rid of flour mites here
I expect a member of the Labour Party had brushed past, or even picked up that bag of flour from the supermarket before Carmen put it in your trolley...
ReplyDeleteSimpler times. Although if - perish the thought - there is another election soon, I expect Boris will include this in the campaign literature. Jx
DeleteI need a Dettol bath after viewing that.
DeleteAren't they just tasty editions? Damn it, something else I've got to scrub down with a vinegar solution.
ReplyDeleteSx
Yes, for a soup kitchen.
DeleteI don't suppose that's the first time sausage meat's been forced upon you.
ReplyDelete*Blushes*
DeleteI hope it wasn't from one of classier emporia, like Waitrose?
ReplyDeleteOh! Good question! Where did you buy the mites?
DeleteSx
I bought mine from Morrison's, the eggs are present in all flours even the brand ones, so it doesn't matter where the flour came from. A little experiment you could try, in a clear plastic bag add a tablespoon of flour, blow into the bag to create humidity, seal and place in a warm room for a few days and you'll have your very own mite farm. I wonder if The Entertainer would be interested in buying the idea, you've heard of Sea Monkeys I can call mine Ice Fairies.
DeleteI wanted a bag of mites, but all I could find had a bunch of flour in it.
ReplyDeleteTake it back to the shop and demand one with mites in it. Try organic wholemeal.
Delete