Imagine you're a waitress working in a café and in walks a customer wearing a Moncler field jacket with a maid in tow, you go immediately to that customer and curtsey, the customer once seated, asks you for a baked potato with beans and cheese with a simple request, that the beans go on first and the cheese goes on top. Did you get that or are you screwing your face up, scratching your head saying eh... like the waitress I had this afternoon? Three sodding times I told that serving wench how I'd like it prepared and each time I was met with a blank stare. She wasn't even a foreigner, she had a Yorkshire accent. I told Carmen to have a go as I was losing the will to live.
Carmen: She (pointing at me) wants a jacket spud (common) with beans and cheese, put the beans on first and the cheese on second, she doesn't like it the other way around because the cheese melts and it goes all stringy and it reminds her of worms and she won't eat it.
Me to waitress: I'll just have a toasted tea-cake instead and a pot of tea please.
A Moncler jacket?!? Lawks etc. etc. No wonder your funds would only stretch to a baked potato (did you clip Carmen around the ear for "jacket spud"?).
ReplyDeleteI didn't clip her around the ear, tempting though it was, but I made sure I got the first pour from the teapot.
DeleteReminds me of this.
ReplyDeleteThe girl in the brown jumper is Toni 'Hey Mickey' Basil!
DeletePosh grub for Yorkshire, that. Jx
ReplyDeleteIt was a posh café, they had cruets on the tables.
ReplyDeleteI have never felt more foreign here. You all might as well be speaking Farsi.
ReplyDeleteIf I lived in Bradford I would be speaking Farsi.
DeleteI thought the picture up top was of a jacket potato, beans, with chips on top. It's an idea to consider.
ReplyDeleteSx
If I was served the above potato in a café I'd be calling them all the stingy bastards, the staff from Tilly's Kitchen, Castleford can vouch for that.
DeleteWho is to say you can't have chips on top or Aunt Bessie's roast potatoes or even a big mound of mash and crisps as a garnish.
You obviously irreparably damaged the business at Tilly's Kitchen with your demands - according to Google they've closed down. Jx
DeleteI probably come across as sounding like a right harridan, I'm not. I don't make demands just simple requests like if I'm having a salad I will ask for no cucumber as it repeats on me and I like my baked potato on a round plate rather than in a dish and I don't want to see any thumb impressions on my sandwich, that sort of thing. It's those people who leave scathing reviews on TripAdvisor that cause the irreparable damage to businesses something I have never done or ever will, if I've got a complaint to make I will tell them so to their face.
ReplyDeleteTilly's Kitchen is still open I was in there just the other day enjoying an overpriced slice of flapjack and a cup of tea.
Ooh - cucumber repeats on me something chronic, too. And I don't like raw tomato. Getting a kebab with that Turkish chopped salad can be a nightmare, especially if I demand they sift it down to the just-onion-and-lettuce level.
DeleteDon't know why Google shows that there Tilly's as closed - they need to remonstrate with them, then.
Jx
PS I know you're no harridan, dear, just Mollie Sugden out of the Liver Birds. A bit posh.
"I am grand"
ReplyDeleteNice to see that war time cuisine is still alive. Do you also use ersatz-coffee ?
ReplyDelete