I was recently asked by a good friend of mine if I want to be buried or cremated when I pop my clogs. I told him neither and nor do I want to be dipped into liquid nitrogen and vibrated to dust thank you very much. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want is to be petrified at the petrifying well at Knaresborough in Yorkshire. I would make an attractive garden ornament, clad in a white Grecian gown and sculptured by mother nature herself, my final resting place will be in the border of a country cottage garden standing amidst a wild rose bush and back lit surrounded by a manicured lawn. I paused to reflect... Beautiful. I turned to my friend and asked him what he wanted when he snuffed it, he didn't answer, he kept on staring at me with a knitted brow, his mouth agape as if to say you're not altogether plumb, are you?
I think you might need a faster method of petrification.... otherwise you would be sitting there, in the well, for six months whilst the tourists came to see the the stone bowler hat and the gloves. You might frighten them off. I like your thinking though. Would being freeze dried and dipped in porcelain work?
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The problem with being freeze dried is you'll become very brittle, a stray ball from the next door neighbour's grandchildren could literally knock my head off. I like the idea of becoming a tourist attraction. I wonder if they would do pets.
DeleteI'm all for it. Returning to nature but leaving a tasteful garden ornament behind. Perfectly petrifying.x
ReplyDeleteYou would make an excellent 'Old mother Ivy' bird table/ bird bath.
DeleteBrilliant solution! There might be a problem with birds, if you catch my drift. How about some nice, clean, comfy place inside like the entry hall at Balmoral Castle or MJ's TV room?
ReplyDeleteI'd prefer MJ's TV room as a novelty remote control holder.
DeleteHow about at the Infomaniac Sculpture Garden?
DeleteIn fact, just today we installed a statue of Divine.
Hmm...it's a nice idea.I'm hoping to live long enough for the politicians to decide on something less wasteful than the current methods. I'd be quite happy in a re-cycled cardboard box, filled with compost and planted with tree seeds.
ReplyDeleteThe Barbara Cartland way. If it's left for my nieces and nephews to sort out I'll be done on the cheap, and imagine the look on their faces during the will reading when they find out I've left all my money to the dog's home.
DeleteWhat a poetic idea. Admirable. One of these ?
ReplyDeleteVery nice, but I was hoping for something a bit more classical like this but with both my knockers out.
DeleteI want to be cremated and my ashes left in a box on the subway here, so I could just ride around and around, tripping annoying commuters and tourists the way I always have.
ReplyDeleteThen at the end of the day you'll find yourself in the lost property office gathering dust on the shelf for years.
ReplyDeleteAh, so that's where Medusa's favourite brand of mineral water comes from.
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