Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Psychic Christmas Present Finder

Well, it's that special time of year again, getting gifts from family and friends is the most magical moment of the festive season. But what if you can't wait for Christmas day to find out what they have bought for you, let the Psychic Christmas Present Finder tell you in advance. Take the first word you see from each box et voila your precious token of their esteem for you shall be revealed. I'm getting a 'mildewy sweater' I hope thats a euphemism for a big cock. Carmen is getting an 'impressive spoon' not off me she isn't, I've already bought hers, 2 bars of carbolic soap from Poundland, she'll be thrilled.










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29 comments:

  1. Unknown17 December 2014 at 20:14

    According to the word-o-gram, I'm getting a 'fishy catholic' for Christmas (those were honestly the first words I saw!). I cannot wait! I'll keep the receipt and return it in the January sales.

    Oh!.... to be in the same room as those cheeky young men only wearing their Santa hats. That would truly make an old tranny truly grateful that Christmas cums but once a year.

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    1. Mitzi 18 December 2014 at 00:49

      I had one of those in Spain, I gave him to Carmen to finish off, who went at it like the clappers.

      Delete
    2. Unknown18 December 2014 at 01:24

      Carmen sounds as filthy as Belladonna.

      Speaking of which, Belladonna had a go at your word-o-gram and discovered she's getting 'Pork Rind' for Christmas. I can visualise the distressing scenes of her devouring it. Given that she was born a sow, that would make her a cannibal.

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    3. Mitzi 18 December 2014 at 15:35

      It's the Spanish heat Fanny, it makes her rampant I must remember to pack some bromide for next time. Any maid would be over the moon to find pork rinds stuffed in their Christmas box.

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    4. Unknown18 December 2014 at 20:32

      If Carmen were my maid, I would spank her with my diamond-encrusted 18th century fan, and then make her walk around the garden naked except for a collar which had the words 'Slut' on it. I feel you are being 'soft' with the staff. They will get the better of you, Mitzi, mark my words.

      Delete
  2. LẌ17 December 2014 at 20:42

    I'm getting the EXTRATERRESTRIAL CROCKPOT! I'm not sure I have an electrical adapter for that ... maybe it's the same one as used in France?

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    1. Mitzi 18 December 2014 at 00:52

      You could flatten the pins with a hammer, will that work? We have the three pin variety here, stand on one of those in your bare feet and you'll know about it.

      Delete
  3. Ivy Black17 December 2014 at 21:19

    Excellent. I'm getting a 'comely poltergeist'. As long as they don't trap me in the telly over Christmas, I'll be happy. x

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    1. Mitzi 18 December 2014 at 01:08

      How wonderful, a comely Christmas spirit, lets hope it's the big fat jolly one George C Scott had in a Christmas Carol.

      Delete
  4. Princess18 December 2014 at 01:09

    Looks like i'm getting the Heavy Lubricant.... Again...

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    1. Mitzi 18 December 2014 at 15:11

      What Princess wouldn't love to find a barrel of that waiting for her under the tree on Christmas morning?

      Delete
  5. Anonymous18 December 2014 at 01:30

    "Questionable Mascara" - pfff !

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    1. Mitzi 18 December 2014 at 15:13

      Can do for you what it did for Agnetha Faltskog from ABBA, Dusty Springfield and Thora Hird.

      Delete
  6. mrpeenee18 December 2014 at 05:12

    I appear to be in line for "impressive junk," which, if its from those elves at bottom, would be fine by me.

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    1. Mitzi 18 December 2014 at 15:16

      Do you want to do a swap? My sphincter has been twitching like a rabbit's nose everytime I see them.

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  7. ayeM8y18 December 2014 at 19:21

    I'll be having kosher lizard. I wonder if that pairs with a red or a white wine.

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    1. mrpeenee19 December 2014 at 00:05

      Manischewitz

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    2. Mitzi 19 December 2014 at 01:20

      When in doubt have a nice drop of rosé, pairs perfectly with Tokay tongue on a matzo cracker.

      Delete
  8. The Mistress19 December 2014 at 14:40

    I'm getting "impressive underwear." YAY!

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  9. Unknown20 December 2014 at 12:42

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. Unknown20 December 2014 at 12:43

    I love this game so much I had another go....

    this time round, I'm getting a "grotesque wench". Not the first time: Beladonna, now Basil, and another one at Christmas. Yippeee!

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    1. Mitzi 20 December 2014 at 14:06

      These things always come in threes. I've just had another go too. I'm getting some ' feckless trash' I hope Carmen hasn't been on Grindr again, I'm a bag of nerves everytime the doorbell rings.

      Delete
    2. Unknown20 December 2014 at 20:34

      Oh my, Carmen on Grindr. That would be a quality fuck, if ever there was such a thing on Grindr.

      Delete
  11. Unknown20 December 2014 at 20:38

    This wordy game is so addictive.

    I've just had yet another go.

    This time around, I'm getting a "Lesbian Gastropod" for Christmas. Yippeee! Crack open the champagne... I feel like a lottery winner... not the six-ball lottery, you understand, no, but more like a 4-ball lottery winner. I cannot wait. I'll be changing into dungarees and listening to KD Lang on Christmas Day, waiting with bated breasts for the arrival of the Lesbian Gastropod on my doorstep. Better still, had better ask her to use the trademens' entrance.

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  12. Mitzi 20 December 2014 at 23:34

    I thought all Gastropods were hermesetas. No Fanny, you really don't want one of those in your Christmas stocking, think of the scandal.

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    1. Unknown21 December 2014 at 12:57

      A Channel 4 news crew has just pulled up on the village green! Lesbian Gastropod alert in Brill.

      Delete
  13. Unknown21 December 2014 at 00:13

    Oh no, not another 'GROTESQUE ORGAN'. Lordy knows I've had way too many of those on a festive morn.

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    1. Mitzi 21 December 2014 at 16:02

      I've had to close shop up for a while due to maintenance, thankfully the crème I bought the other day from the chemist seems to be working well. So fingers crossed and no more extra large whammer jammers for me in future, I'll just stick with the button mushrooms that I'm used to.

      Delete

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