Sunday, 9 November 2014

Mitzi's Lusty Lips

Do you have a mean slit for a mouth?  Do you dream of having a Parisian pout with fuller plumper lips without having to resort to murderously expensive collagen lip injections? Well, now you can with Mitzi's Lusty Lips.









All you need for lusty lips is: 1 generous tablespoon of moisturizing cream, any will do, 1 scotch bonnet chili pepper,

Cut the stalk off the chili and discard, place chili in a jug along with the moisturising cream  and whizz together until smooth, using a kitchen vibrator.
Find a suitable container with a lid to store it in, the above picture is not a suitable storage container, it's a yoghurt pot but it the best that I could find. Apply to the lips and see what happens. Expect a mild stinging sensation, this will wear off after 10 minutes, the plump effect can last up to 2 hours, apply when necessary. NB Do not be tempted to use this product as an emergency lube for anal sex!






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10 comments:

  1. LẌ9 November 2014 at 19:37

    Add a side of corn tortilla chips and — Olé! — party dip!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mitzi 10 November 2014 at 23:59

      It could double up as a party dip 'n' dazzle.

      Delete
  2. Ms Scarlet10 November 2014 at 11:10

    Thank you for this tip, I will try and report back my findings.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mitzi 11 November 2014 at 00:01

      You may want to use a milder chilli like a Jalapeno or a birds' eye, when I said expect a mild stinging sensation I meant a burning sensation, but it does wear off after a few minutes.

      Delete
  3. Ivy Black10 November 2014 at 16:35

    Genius. Superdrug should be all over this. Anne Summers should as well for those who like a challlenge.
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mitzi 11 November 2014 at 00:08

      When rubbed into buttocks it gives a mild stinging sensation, I could flog it to Anne Summers as Flagellation crème or as an all round body warmer!

      Delete
  4. ayeM8y10 November 2014 at 20:01

    Hmm, anal lube...

    What would be the harm in a robust rosebud? The swelling will eventually go down right? Besides, you can always use a little dab of Fruitox®.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mitzi 11 November 2014 at 00:17

      I haven't been brave enough to try it down there, but I'm tempted. Is Fruitox similar to this product? I suppose it's one way of getting your five a day.

      Delete
  5. Unknown13 November 2014 at 08:01

    I adore your creativity, Mitzi. What a wonderful con-cock-tion. I blended some up myself, slapped it onto my lips and then went and gave the milkman a blowjob. He didn't last long. After about 20 seconds, he started yelling that his cock was on fire and he ran at high speed and jumped in the lake. He's still there now.

    As for emergency anal lube, nothing beats Aristowax Furniture Polish. I've used it in many 'emergency' situations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mitzi 13 November 2014 at 18:06

      Wet look hair gel from Poundland works a treat too.

      Delete

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