Mitzi's Day Out

Where have you been today Mitzi? Did you visit the shimmering waters and sheer beauty of Lake Windermere?

or Whitby, with it's quaint little shops and cafes?

Perhaps you enjoyed the idyllic villages and the rolling meadows of the Cotswolds?

No it was none of the above. Today Carmen and I visited Grimsby, twinned with Libya, Grimsby is a seaport on the Humber Estuary in Lincolnshire.

It's not called Grimsby for nothing!

Driving into the town centre I made a hurried survey of all the boarded up shops, feral children smoking, pregnant horrors pushing buggies sometimes followed by a neanderthal youth wearing tracksuit bottoms tucked into his socks. Do I make a hasty exit or carry on? My upper lip is as stiff as the next British person's and so we carried on. We parked in Freshney's car park which is a busy shopping centre/market where you can find many fashionable items at discount prices, such as Ug boots for £9.99. Feeling a bit peckish we found a nice little cafe, I ordered the connoisseur's choice, a jacket potato with cheese. "Not after 2 o'clock" said the pig faced waitress wiping her nose along the back of her finger and then wiped her finger on her burgundy tabbard. Which left me wondering if a law had been passed. Was there now a curfew on jacket potatoes? "We'll go elsewhere" I replied. If looks could kill, I would have been dead. "You'ves left it too late ant yers?" she spat. "I'm sorry dear, I don't speak Mongolian". My top lip started to twitch. Quick, get me out of this shithole!