My maid of all work Carmen was absolutely thrilled to receive a Christmas present from me this year, it was a double pack of carbolic soap from Poundland she looked down at the gift that I held in my hand and with tears filling her eyes, she said, in a quivering little voice "A present... for me?" Yes Carmen, a present for you. "you've spent a whole pound on...me?" Yes Carmen I did, you deserve every shilling. I gave her the receipt in case she wants to take them back to the shop in exchange for some other luxury. When she finally stopped sobbing, it was my turn, I held out my hands a foot width apart and closed my eyes, a small package was then placed in my left hand, trying hard not to let the disappointment show on my face, I opened my eyes and saw a small box wrapped in expensive looking paper. I eagerly ripped off the paper using nails and teeth and I was rewarded with a very small bottle of aftershave 50ml if you please! I didn't say anything but I was thinking it! The greedy bitch. Later on in the day I was going to surprise her with yet another little opener, a couple of satsumas from out the fruit bowl,
but I thought better of it, after the miserable disappointment I had in her gift, so I ate them myself. She knew I wanted a pair of slippers, the fluffy mules with the pink marabou trim I sometimes wear to greet the postman are looking a bit worse for wear, so I thought I'll go a bit butch with these. Oh well, I suppose I'll just have to buy them for myself.