Monday, 7 April 2014

Off Your Trolley!

Nowhere on earth can match Yorkshire's bus stops for fun, frolics and light entertainment. Whether it's waiting for the number 3: Cottingley - Brackenwood ( Red Line ) or the number 965: Otley - Weston Circular there is always something to keep us amused from sun up till sun down.


  1. Darling Mitzi:

    What excitement at the bus stop although, to be really truthful, we could not always understand exactly every single syllable. It is to be hoped that we have not missed too much of this engaging, intellectual, inclusive conversation.

    We adore public transport and are always on the buses, trams, trolley buses and Metro here but never, alas, are engaged in such stimulating dialogue. Perhap we should contemplate a move to Yorkshire!!

    1. Buses frustrate me, stopping at every single piddling bus stop, to pick up undesirables wearing mis-match fabrics.

      I really look forward to long coach journeys, sat in a comfortable seat with a bag of coconut mushrooms in my lap and clutching a woman's weekly, lazily watching the countryside pass by. If I'm in the mood I'd have a chat with my maid of all work Carmen or have a little snooze.

  2. Aside from "off your trolley" and a few other random bits, I'm having trouble understanding enough to get the drift of what they're carrying on about. I wish there were sub-titles. Sorry.

    1. Woman: I'm a bit brighter than you love. - A lot brighter.
      Man: You might be love
      Woman: A lot brighter and you can test me on history, geography, politics anything you want. But what I've heard from you today is worse than what I hear from children in a school playground, that's how much you know.
      Man: What are you doing in a children's playground?
      Woman: I didn't say I was in a children's playground
      Man: No but you're hearing it in the children's school playground.
      Woman: That's what I've heard!
      Man: I hear this, I hear that, is someone speaking to you from up there?
      Woman: Are you off your trolley?
      Man: No it's you, Love.
      Woman talking to woman in the red coat: ere listen, don't you start!
      Red Coat: I haven't said a word
      Woman: Well, keep it shut then!
      Red Coat: I've kept it shut.
      Woman: If you've nothing better to say, keep it shut. You've disputed me and this man when we were on about the death penalty, end of story, that's how this started.
      Man: Will You check on that?
      Woman: If you disagree, that's entirely up to you, you're talking so much nonsense about hanging offences in England. You're off your trolley! Absolutely.
      Man: There still is a law!
      Woman: THERE IS NO LAW about hanging in this country. You're talking shite! There is no law about hanging in America, they don't do hangings love.
      Man: They don't hang them in America they give them the old pill.
      Woman: They don't hang them, exactly. And they don't do it here.
      Man: They haven't done it since Ruth Ellis love.
      Woman: I know that.
      Man: Because nobody's done...
      Woman: Because nobody's done anything wrong. Because nobody's done anything wrong, nobody beheaded anybody on the streets of London, is that what you're saying?
      Man: I didn't say that, Love.
      Woman: Nobody has done anything wrong, is what you were going with it.
      Man: No that is a different thing I say, what did I say?
      Woman: Nobody's done anything wrong because nobody's what? repeated twice
      Man: About the royalty. (repeated twice)
      Woman: So what about royalty?
      Man: And the ship yards and anything else.
      Woman: What are the ship yards to do with anything?
      Man: This goes back and it hasn't been repealed.
      Woman: All laws have been repealed, they've been superceded by European law.
      Man: No love.
      Woman: Yes Love.
      Man: No, no
      Woman: Yes Love... absolutely! You need to... do whatever, do one!
      Man: I will do love.
      Woman: Frigoff, abroad or where ever you want to go it's people like you have helped to bring this country to it's knees.
      Man I've served for this country.
      Woman: People like you, well, God help us, if you served, what did you serve as? Serve in the kitchen did you, teacakes?
      Man: How did you know that, Love?
      Woman: You didn't do fuck all else
      Man: Did you do anything?
      Woman: This Man served.
      Man: Did you do anything?
      Woman: I wasn't born love until after it was all over.
      Man: and I don't think you should have been born
      Woman: unfortunately for you, I was and your ilk, because as long as I'm alive I'll make sure I'll stick up for my country, because I'm not a traitor, I'm a patriot, I'm not a traitor, you clearly are.

  3. Thank you very much for the transcript mate!

    "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

    1. I wish I could write scripts like that, I'd have my own soap opera. Yes she did but she was right, in what she was saying. I think the man was trying to claim that people could still be hanged for high treason in the royal dock yards, but that was abolished in the late 90s. I wouldn't like the screaming oracle of Delphi as a next door neighbour, would you?

  4. The bus stop is last place where the truth is still told!

    1. and more entertaining than the telly.

  5. The motormouth with the copper-wire hair had a lot to say but sadly I couldn't understand a single word. What language was it given in? Welsh? I would dearly love to get on a bus one day, it would be such a treat.

    1. It's the language of up norf, love. Don't you think the woman in the red coat looks a bit like Mel B from Bo Selecta?

    2. Yes, she does look the spitting image of that. Forget Summer in Paris, I would give anything to ride the Otley to Weston Circular.

    3. Spring time in Otley is beautiful this time of year.

  6. Ah..this is why I love public transport. Nothing like a frank exchange and reasonable discourse that we British do so well. The last time I took a bus, a couple in front argued about mobile providers for the entire journey which ended with her saying 'Yes,but your a fucking massive dickhead and your phones not worth a wank'. Like the afternoon play on Radio Four it was only better.xx

    1. Old ladies have the best conversations, I used to catch the bus home from school and it would pick up the old biddies leaving Astoria Bingo, I used to be gripped with stories about "Jean's womb" it was tilted you know, she couldn't wear high heels and had to go to her daughter's wedding in her slippers.

  7. Did someone mention teacakes?

  8. Without reading your transcript, I understood every word.

    I believe there is a niche for translators like me in your country.