Monday, 20 December 2010

Hot Water Trauma

Face, pits and crotch bugger the rest.

I had a whore's bath this morning at the kitchen sink. Can you imagine that?

I had no other choice the immersion thermostat had packed up. I had no running hot water. Carmen waited in for a plumber and I went shopping giving her strict instructions to be extra "friendly" for a good discount.

The plumber has been and gone (having paid full price!) and now I'm waiting for the tank to heat up so I can get a bath. What luxury!


  1. Did you have to use that Brillo pad?

  2. I find that a light misting of chlorine does just as well. It's what all the big Hollywood stars use.

  3. A quick powdering of "Vim" is the ticket...

  4. A brillo pad is a wonderful exfoliater MJ pay particular attention to those lines, wipe off the suds with a used teabag from out the bin and rinse with warm water.

    "Your due on the set in 5 minutes Miss Collins." Okay. I'm just doing me face, front and forks with chlorine.

    Can Sphincterine double up as a lube?

    A small cup full of Omo washing powder is all you need for all your washing purposes.

    Did they use Vim at the nursing home? "That Lizzie Birdsworth has just shat herself again Princess."
    "Righto. You bring the Vim and I'll fetch the yard brush."

  5. sounds more like a trip out to the yard for some high pressure hose play for this one Mitzi. Get ready to don the mac and waders... that's her third time today...