Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Hot Tip From Horace

For many years I've kept my legs warm in winter by wearing ladies' tights beneath my trousers. I've never found it embarrassing, as they make perfectly good and economical leg warmers. As a pensioner, saving money and staying warm are my priorities. In summer I switch to wearing cooler and more hygienic stockings and suspenders.


  1. One thing leads to another... let's hope it doesn't lead on to pop sox.

  2. Excellent advice and what a nice pudgy penis Horace has!

    I like to shave unwanted and extremely long wiry hairs from my bunghole, but I’m often left with razor burn and unsightly bumps that are mistaken for warts. Does Horace have any advice?


    Smelly Fingers

  3. God forbid Scarlet.

    If you have areas of unwanted hair that causes you distress, or you're just too much of a lazy cow to shave, pluck or wax, laser hair reduction could be the answer. Potentially permanent and virtually painless. Simply remove the back of your CD player and then squat over it whilst it is switched on, use the pause button on the remote control for a pulse effect. You could also attempt your own corrective laser eye surgery by staring into it.

  4. i DID WHAT YOU sAID>>>i StARReD iNTO tHE DAMn tHInG. anD i CaN seE CLear nOW!

  5. I didn't think the comments could possibly be more frightening than the image but I've been proven wrong.