Thursday 25 May 2017

Black Tights White Shoes

I was at the chemist today waiting for Carmen's prescription to be dispensed, terrible smell of damp in the waiting room coming from Jim 74, Langdale Crescent,  Pearl 66 from Thwaite Street wrinkled up her nose in disgust, that's her in the picture, wearing black tights and white shoes! 'Eww Fusty towels' whispered Lynne 58 from Hull Road. I've never seen these people before in my life and yet I know their full names, their D.O.B and their addresses including house number, one woman Margaret 63 from Mill Beck Court called in on spec to see if her prescription was ready to pick-up, (it was) she usually has hers delivered, but she's going away at the weekend to Wales and they'll be nobody at home, 'Oh, how lovely' said the gossipy chemist, where in Wales are you going to? Llandudno, she even mentioned the name of the hotel she'll be staying in. If I was a weirdo (please don't mock) I could ring up Margaret tomorrow evening at the mentioned hotel to say I've burgled your house, that'll teach the silly cow a lesson.

After a 20 minute wait Carmen 50, yes 50! was just about to confirm her name, address and D.O.B. to all and sundry when I piped in, 'show your driving license! you never know who's listening'. 

How to keep towels smelling fresh click here. Especially for Jim.

10 comments:

  1. "Llandudno"

    Why do the place names in Wales look like a cat walked over the typewriter keyboard?

    PS: Best wishes to Carmen for what ails her!

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    1. I've always liked the Welsh name Myfanwy, would be a great name to give a cat.

      Metformin tablets for diabetes, her blood group is Rh caramac

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  2. I'm a bit flustered today and haven't yet figured out whether the stupidity tag applies to black tights and white shoes, the musty towel smell or people divulging personal details (especially to gossips) so I'll pootle off to the shops and maybe sort it out later.
    Nice to see you up and about again.Were you laid low in Llandudno?

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  3. Black tights and white shoes sounds like a Beryl Bainbridge page turner doesn't it? I've been playing nurse maid to 'GAA' (Great Aunt Alice) going to and fro to her place, she fell off a step ladder and had fractured her elbow, she's on the mend now but I'm afraid my sanity will take much longer to restore my nerves are shattered.

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    1. Oh dear. Sorry for GAA and more so for you. Go and fix yourself a G&T. I shall have another wine for you.(Muriel! Not you, dear.)

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    2. That sounds just the ticket. GAA gets through a litre and half of Bells a week, I bet she was pissed when she fell off the step ladder.

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  4. You are an absolute saint. My asshole father has lost his mind (literally. Alzheimers.) and I am avoiding going to see him. "What's the point," I asked my brother, " when he thinks I'm a box of Cheerios?"

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    1. I am sorry to hear about your father's illness, they seems to be an epidemic of it about. Who's your brother the Quaker Oats man? It is a worry.

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  5. Replies
    1. Yes, she does most of the driving. I just use the car to nip to here and there.

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