Sunday 8 February 2015

The Misers, Morrison Gothic

I think it was Eleanor Rigby that said 'Do one thing every day that scares you'. With those words in mind we paid a visit to Morrison's cafe. Whilst my maid of all work Carmen was waiting patiently in the queue like the good little domestic servant that she is, I went in search of a seat, after taking my coat off and settling down, this was the scene that greeted me.
 

Two miserable looking pensioners, sat side by side of each other staring intensely at me with gimlet eyes, their sour faces could have curdled milk, perhaps their dog had just died or perhaps they were just stunned at my natural beauty, whatever the reason I was instantly reminded of a painting by Grant Wood called American Gothic, without the pitchfork, the woman seen hovering in the background could be the angel of death. Their meagre meal arrived he had a plate of chips and she had a battered cod and together they made a fish and chips dinner for two, for the price of one. Now there's a tip for you and here are some of mine. 


Supermarket tip: When buying pre packed bananas usually priced at 99p always take them out of the bag and let the till assistant weigh them instead, they're often much cheaper, I paid 58p for mine.


Supermarket tip: Save £££s When buying exotic fruits such as dragon fruit and medjool dates, simply use the self service check out and put them through as apples.


Supermarket tip: Slip a magazine of your choice inside the Sunday newspapers the girl at the till will just think it's a supplement and scan it as normal.


Supermarket tip: Home delivery. Having a post box inside a supermarket is a boon isn't it? The next time you are at the supermarket take along with you some stamped, self addressed envelopes, about the size of a dvd fill with expensive ink cartridges, pens or dvds and simply post them to yourself.



16 comments:

  1. Us pensioners gotta be resourceful Mitzi...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You speak for yourself Princess, I'm still a young slip of a thing.

      Delete
  2. Now that I'm retired, these are very handy tips ... if I can remember them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bar codes on sale items can easily be taken off and placed on non sale items of clothing, last week I bought a pair of wrangler jeans priced at £64 I paid £22.

      Delete
  3. I'm just trying to stave off the day when I have to dive in the dumpsters out back for the least rotten fruit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some elderly homosexuals do go a bit rotten with age don't they?

      Delete
  4. Darling Mitzi,

    We are made of strong stuff....or, so we tell ourselves......but this post really us a living nightmare.

    We can cope with the senior citizens.......a rather lovely perm for her and a tasteful combination of forest green shirt and jersey for him.

    We can totally appreciate the sharing of cod and chips......the price of fish these days is appalling and a small portion of chips is healthy eating.

    We can cope with the fact that you shop at Morrison's...........someone has to, we imagine.

    But, darling Mitzi, just look at that upholstery that you have captured for our delight and disgust here. No, it is too awful. We can imagine that one would get an electric shock just sitting on it! And, if one would dare to reach out for the metal frame......well, that could be the end ........oh, what ignominy! Morrison's Cafe.....one's final resting place....is there really no Waitrose close at hand?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not the supermarket of my choice, I must say. I have an elderly relative I take once a week to the supermarket and she insists on Morrisons, she is so stuck in her ways. The upholstery is made from oil cloth, any leaks and spillages that occur can be given a cursory wipe down by the staff. I always sit on the laminated menu, just for piece of mind.

      Delete
  5. I can't use supermarket cafes... I have a 'thing' about trays... so I buy bread rolls and smoked salmon, and take advantage of the free plastic knives and butter on offer in the self service area. And then I have a little picnic in the car.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like it when old couples dine together and never say a word to one another. Just glaring from the woman at her husband for grinding his teeth and the husband at the wife for chewing with her mouth open.

    P.S. I always incorporate your shopping tips. Just the other day I whacked off 12 feet of chain at the Home Depot then returned it and repurchased it from the odd lot bin for pennies.

    Thanks Mitzi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was watching a television advert for pet insurance the other day and how much it could cost you in vets bills if your pet had an accident or an illness, up to £2000! I don't have any pets but if I did and it needed medical attention, It would be tempting to leave it tethered outside an animal shelter and let them deal with the pet's health, then when it's well enough for rehoming simply call in at the shelter, haggle for a discount on the adoption fee (you don't want to pay full price for a faulty one). Et voila you've just saved a fortune in vets bills.

      Delete
  7. The dear, sweet elderly lady on the right looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. In her younger years, wasn't she in this film?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She used to be so pretty in her youth. If I had spoken to my mother like that, possessed by demons or not, I would have received a good hiding from my dad.

      Delete