I think it was Eleanor Rigby that said 'Do one thing every day that scares you'. With those words in mind we paid a visit to Morrison's cafe. Whilst my maid of all work Carmen was waiting patiently in the queue like the good little domestic servant that she is, I went in search of a seat, after taking my coat off and settling down, this was the scene that greeted me.
Two miserable looking pensioners, sat side by side of each other staring intensely at me with gimlet eyes, their sour faces could have curdled milk, perhaps their dog had just died or perhaps they were just stunned at my natural beauty, whatever the reason I was instantly reminded of a painting by Grant Wood called American Gothic, without the pitchfork, the woman seen hovering in the background could be the angel of death. Their meagre meal arrived he had a plate of chips and she had a battered cod and together they made a fish and chips dinner for two, for the price of one. Now there's a tip for you and here are some of mine.
Supermarket tip: When buying pre packed bananas usually priced at 99p always take them out of the bag and let the till assistant weigh them instead, they're often much cheaper, I paid 58p for mine.
Supermarket tip: Save £££s When buying exotic fruits such as dragon fruit and medjool dates, simply use the self service check out and put them through as apples.
Supermarket tip: Slip a magazine of your choice inside the Sunday newspapers the girl at the till will just think it's a supplement and scan it as normal.
Supermarket tip: Home delivery. Having a post box inside a supermarket is a boon isn't it? The next time you are at the supermarket take along with you some stamped, self addressed envelopes, about the size of a dvd fill with expensive ink cartridges, pens or dvds and simply post them to yourself.