Wednesday 17 December 2014

Psychic Christmas Present Finder

Well, it's that special time of year again, getting gifts from family and friends is the most magical moment of the festive season. But what if you can't wait for Christmas day to find out what they have bought for you, let the Psychic Christmas Present Finder tell you in advance. Take the first word you see from each box et voila your precious token of their esteem for you shall be revealed. I'm getting a 'mildewy sweater' I hope thats a euphemism for a big cock. Carmen is getting an 'impressive spoon' not off me she isn't, I've already bought hers, 2 bars of carbolic soap from Poundland, she'll be thrilled.












29 comments:

  1. According to the word-o-gram, I'm getting a 'fishy catholic' for Christmas (those were honestly the first words I saw!). I cannot wait! I'll keep the receipt and return it in the January sales.

    Oh!.... to be in the same room as those cheeky young men only wearing their Santa hats. That would truly make an old tranny truly grateful that Christmas cums but once a year.

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    1. I had one of those in Spain, I gave him to Carmen to finish off, who went at it like the clappers.

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    2. Carmen sounds as filthy as Belladonna.

      Speaking of which, Belladonna had a go at your word-o-gram and discovered she's getting 'Pork Rind' for Christmas. I can visualise the distressing scenes of her devouring it. Given that she was born a sow, that would make her a cannibal.

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    3. It's the Spanish heat Fanny, it makes her rampant I must remember to pack some bromide for next time. Any maid would be over the moon to find pork rinds stuffed in their Christmas box.

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    4. If Carmen were my maid, I would spank her with my diamond-encrusted 18th century fan, and then make her walk around the garden naked except for a collar which had the words 'Slut' on it. I feel you are being 'soft' with the staff. They will get the better of you, Mitzi, mark my words.

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  2. I'm getting the EXTRATERRESTRIAL CROCKPOT! I'm not sure I have an electrical adapter for that ... maybe it's the same one as used in France?

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    1. You could flatten the pins with a hammer, will that work? We have the three pin variety here, stand on one of those in your bare feet and you'll know about it.

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  3. Excellent. I'm getting a 'comely poltergeist'. As long as they don't trap me in the telly over Christmas, I'll be happy. x

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    1. How wonderful, a comely Christmas spirit, lets hope it's the big fat jolly one George C Scott had in a Christmas Carol.

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  4. Looks like i'm getting the Heavy Lubricant.... Again...

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    1. What Princess wouldn't love to find a barrel of that waiting for her under the tree on Christmas morning?

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  5. "Questionable Mascara" - pfff !

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    1. Can do for you what it did for Agnetha Faltskog from ABBA, Dusty Springfield and Thora Hird.

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  6. I appear to be in line for "impressive junk," which, if its from those elves at bottom, would be fine by me.

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    1. Do you want to do a swap? My sphincter has been twitching like a rabbit's nose everytime I see them.

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  7. I'll be having kosher lizard. I wonder if that pairs with a red or a white wine.

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    1. When in doubt have a nice drop of rosé, pairs perfectly with Tokay tongue on a matzo cracker.

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  8. I'm getting "impressive underwear." YAY!

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  10. I love this game so much I had another go....

    this time round, I'm getting a "grotesque wench". Not the first time: Beladonna, now Basil, and another one at Christmas. Yippeee!

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    1. These things always come in threes. I've just had another go too. I'm getting some ' feckless trash' I hope Carmen hasn't been on Grindr again, I'm a bag of nerves everytime the doorbell rings.

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    2. Oh my, Carmen on Grindr. That would be a quality fuck, if ever there was such a thing on Grindr.

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  11. This wordy game is so addictive.

    I've just had yet another go.

    This time around, I'm getting a "Lesbian Gastropod" for Christmas. Yippeee! Crack open the champagne... I feel like a lottery winner... not the six-ball lottery, you understand, no, but more like a 4-ball lottery winner. I cannot wait. I'll be changing into dungarees and listening to KD Lang on Christmas Day, waiting with bated breasts for the arrival of the Lesbian Gastropod on my doorstep. Better still, had better ask her to use the trademens' entrance.

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  12. I thought all Gastropods were hermesetas. No Fanny, you really don't want one of those in your Christmas stocking, think of the scandal.

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    1. A Channel 4 news crew has just pulled up on the village green! Lesbian Gastropod alert in Brill.

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  13. Oh no, not another 'GROTESQUE ORGAN'. Lordy knows I've had way too many of those on a festive morn.

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    1. I've had to close shop up for a while due to maintenance, thankfully the crème I bought the other day from the chemist seems to be working well. So fingers crossed and no more extra large whammer jammers for me in future, I'll just stick with the button mushrooms that I'm used to.

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