Monday, 27 May 2013

The Ragman

It was my maid of all work Carmen's half day off today and she was only going out to 'brunch' with a friend, brunch! who the hell does she think she is, she's no stranger to an outside toilet and she calling it brunch! Anyway, enough of her. I usually wake up to the sound of birds gaily tweeting in the trees, however, this morning I was aroused by the sound of a rag and bone man, remember them? Once a familiar sight in the 70s & 80s then they disappeared, now it's seem they're making a revival. I got out of bed, looked out the window and saw him plodding down the street with his trusty old nag with his dulcet tones ringing out 'Annnnnnnnnnnyrabone' as a child that used to translate as 'A goldfish for your mother's best frocks' and off I'd trot clutching half a dozen dresses with the coat hangers still attached and the contents of the laundry basket, I wasn't going to be fobbed off with just a balloon on a stick, oh no, a goldfish for BHS and Littlewoods finest seemed a fair exchange.

Harold Steptoe is alive and well.


9 comments:

  1. Perhaps you should toss Carmen into the cart on his next visit. Since she's a big girl, she has big bones and wears a larger rag than most, therefore she should command a higher price per pound. Don't settle for anything less than a penny whistle + a gum drop!

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    1. Carmen has gone down a dress size, she was a 40 inch waist, now she's a 38! It'll still going to take a gang of lads and an industrial winch to toss her in the cart though. Sadly they don't take old bones anymore, just scrap metal.

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  2. Paul: He's very clean.

    A Hard Day's Night

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    1. I should hope he is, I always ask my gentlemen callers to rinse it under the tap first.

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  3. Mistress MJ is all for recycling but I wouldn't be keen on the sound of that bell and I doubt the horse is pleased about it either.

    Still, better a bell than a vuvuzela.

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    1. I'd be more worried about the horse lifting it's tail up and shitting. How would they like it, if I went mincing through their gypsy camp at 8am ringing a bell to sell my wares in the bushes.

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    2. Horse manure is good for sparrows and for farming mushrooms.

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