Thursday, 31 January 2013

Mitzi Rambles

Thank goodness the snow has all gone, my maid of all work, Carmen, refused to drive in such "treacherous weather conditions" bloody coward! So I have been forced to drive. It was either that or use public transport, the last time I rode the bus was in 2008 (when the car was in service) and I didn't fancy repeating the shocking experience thank you very much. I remember sitting next to a woman wearing gore-tex and horror of horrors she was trying to strike up a conversation! can you imagine that dear readers?


Overheard today in Home Bargains:

Vulgar woman: Excuse me mate, d'yer ave any gob wash?
Menial: First aisle, next to the toothpastes.
Mitzi to Menial: Opposite the toothpastes is where she'll find the soap!

Also overheard in Morrison's Cafe a young mother telling her son that it's not "what" it's "pardon" Oh dear, I thought.

16 comments:

  1. You have my greatest sympathy, Mitzi. The very utterance of the word 'bus' - even spoken under one's breath - has me popping Valium like there's no tomorrow and hiding under the sofa, transformed into a quivering wreck. I once got onto an auto-bus (the X276 from Swindon to Marlborough) and was groped and molested by a filthy degenerate in a mouldy overcoat wearing an old brown hat and with a carrot for a nose, looking strangely like Worzel Gummidge; I often wake up screaming in the middle of the night and have never been the same since that encounter.

    No self-respecting lady of your merit should be seen getting on a bus. You should get your cat o' nine tails out and whip that hand-maiden, Carmen, into shape. Refusing to drive you around in snow? Don't tolerate her insubordination! The old saying "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Serving-Wench" comes to mind.

    Fanny xx

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    1. The reprobate! I hope your footman slapped the beast across his face with a glove and challenged him to a duel.

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  2. Bus? The horror ... the horror ... the horror.

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  3. Mitzi, the picture on your main blog entry - of a poodle with a bouffant hairstyle - is this a candid photo of your hand-maiden, Carmen? F x

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    1. At least Carmen had a "paw"dicure for the shot...

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    2. She likes to look her best for photoshoots. She's just getting over a very nasty bolt of kennel cough.

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  4. Hello Mitzi:
    Now, we have to disagree about the bus. In our view it is becoming quite the most stylish form of transport these days. Indeed, we are of the opinion that anyone who is anyone these days will be seen on the bus at some point or another or at some hour of the day or night. Of course, one is only meant to be SEEN on the bus and not strike up a conversation particularly, horror of horrors, on a mobile telephone.That would never do!!!

    And, we are concerned, dearest Mitzi, for you do seem to be spending a lot of time in Morrison's café....you need to get out and about on the bus more!!!

    Love, absolutely love the Poodle....is it chocolate?

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  5. The picture is from a Marks and Spencer birthday card I received about 8 years ago and I've kept it every since, I would have liked it framed, but it has the words "Happiness is still having your own hair" which spoils the picture somewhat.

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  6. Our ramblings are in sync!

    I had to ride the bus for a couple months while broke and my car was even more broke. I hated the entire experience of it all. A lady sneezed on me once then excused herself and told me she had the flu. After that I begged everyone I knew to take me to work.

    And what a nice manner to pass on to a child, Pardon...is so much nicer than a wha...

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    1. Incidentally, the post to the left that says, "Mitzi Said" was a test to see if my post would show up after having trouble seeing the original. The "Mitzi Said" is actually a template I use every time I post. It's html for links and I just change the words and linking terms. So every time I post I'm greeted with, "Mitzi Said".

      It's comforting actually.

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    2. I also saw "Mitzi Said" in the feed. I have to admit to being a little disappointed that it was not some juicy gossip from Mitzi!

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  7. I'm very touched Ayem8y, you're the longest blogger pal I've ever had, even when I used to commit blog suicide on a weekly basis you still came back to me.

    Make new friends
    But keep the old
    The new ones are silver
    The old ones are gold!

    Isn't that a lovely sentiment? I got it from a greetings card!

    I also clicked on the "Mitzi Said" with trepidation, wondering what I had said then scratched my head in bafflement.

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  8. The art of a good Con-ver-say-shun are very rare on public transport these days in (my very regular) experience...

    Everyone seems to be intensely glued to their portable computer... or strapped to their portable telephone constantly texting or speaking very loudly about the most intimate details of there lives... In my most recent travels the converation highlights consisted of being asked "is anyone using that seat mate?" by some half stoned unwashed zombie with headphones blaring so loudly that i doubt he even heard my reply of "Using it for what?" before slumping himself down in the seat opposite whereby he proceeded to scratch his balls and adjust himself for the next three stations before getting off(the train... tho by that time he looked to be well on the way)... and the conductor prancing up the aisle saying "Ticket's please". I must say... He did have a lovely prance tho.....And... I guess that is one way to utilise a spare seat

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    1. I would have had my shopping bag on the spare seat, only to be removed for a handsome man with a large bulge, then tap the seat in a seductive manner. Conductors usually have a light gait about them. Did you take a good look at the driver? He can handle a train but could he handle you?

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