Wednesday 19 September 2012

Barcelona to Venice

Barcelona, Monaco, Livorno, Civitaveccia, Naples, day at sea, Mykonos (cancelled due to choppy sea), Istanbul was Constantinople , Kusadasi, Athens, day at sea, Venice with overnight stay.

The Ruby Princess (not the jewel I expected her to be)
in Monte Carlo, our first port of call.















Deep Sea Diva

We arrived at our cabin on the Riviera deck, a very nice welcome gift awaited us, a splendid bowl of fruit, consisting of a pineapple, bananas, peaches and pears, however, the doily in the fruit bowl was ripped! Bijal, our punkawallah saw my distress and arranged to replace the offending doily right there and then. He was a lovely chap and a dream boat too.

Carmen, having just stirred.

Enjoying a coffee and a well deserved sit down at a street cafe in Piazza Navona, Rome. 14 euros for two cups of coffee! It did taste delicious though, just like Nescafe instant.

 
At the Grand Bazaar, Istanbul, we bumped into Scarlet Blue, looking all glam and what appears to be a lampshade on her head! The man at the stall saw me taking the photograph and came over "You like? I give you good price, nice present for your wife"  I wouldn't say they were backward people, just a little bit slow at going forwards.

Oh those pesky Turks beckon you into their shops, once they have you inside, the latch is dropped, the blind is pulled down and they offer you apple tea and a ottomen. They would skin your grandmother alive and sell her a leather jacket.

My thin English lips would purse in disapproval at Carmen's night time calorific indulgence. Some nights she would have a big mound of chip on the side.

16 comments:

  1. When you can't find a lampshade then a sun hat will suffice... or something like that.
    Oh God, I am desperate to cruise again.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
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    1. A handkerchief knotted at the four corners makes an ideal makeshift hat when visiting British seaside resorts, I suppose the same rule could apply to cruises, when sailing from Southampton, but only after you have used the hankerchief to wave at the adoring masses below from your balcony cabin.

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  2. I do love a Mitzi travelogue!

    Where next?

    And I must say the bathroom accommodations are exquisite.

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    1. Thank you Ayem8y.

      Where next? Paradise Ayem8y. Blackpool to see the lights!

      I had so much more to say and show you but this new blogger layout, I'm forced to use, is a pain in the arse.

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  3. Tell you what...Judith Chalmers...fuck off. Mitzi travel all the way.
    A ripped doily isn't on.
    xxx

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    Replies
    1. You don't hear much from Judith nowadays do you? She had the complexion of a tandoori oven. I remember her dishy son Mark Durden-Smith presented the last Wish You Were Here, Now and Then, a couple of years ago. Nepotism!

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  4. Hello Mitzi:
    Surely you are the Cruise Queen! The Riviera Deck and not even a doily passes your attention. Such a stickler for detail and standards that, we fear, have long passed being noticed by the public at large. It is to you, dearest Mitzi, that we mere mortals must look for the way forward in all things, but especially cruising. Never mind Monte Carlo,Mykonos and Monaco.....what we want to know is the etiquette for dealing with cabin boys!!!!

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    1. The cabin boy will introduce himself at the start of the cruise and that will be the last you'll hear from him, unless you want any special request just dial his number, if you want the cabin refreshing just stick a card in the slot on the way out to dinner, when you return your bed will be made-up with a chocolate on the pillow, they do bend over backwards to please you. The last day of your cruise he will greet you with a voltaic smile that could light up the national grid, you know then that it's tipping time. I usually wait until disembarkation, I tear up sheets of toilet paper fold them up and stuff it inside the tipping envelopes provided for you in the "Get To Know Your Ship" pack and leave it on the pillow with the stewards name on. If you happen to bump into your steward, you can always say "Thanks for everything, I've left you a little something for you in the cabin" shake hands with him and leg-it to the lifts.

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    2. Thank you so much for this excellent advice. We had thought at first that the wad of lavatory paper would have been enclosed within a crisp £5, £10, or even £20 note [we could not contemplate £50] but this makes so much better sense and is, as we recognise, far more economic in these stringent times. And how wonderful to learn that there are still people prepared to bend over backwards to please. Would you imagine that we would get the same service on a banana boat - our favoured way to cross the Atlantic?

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    3. Banana boat sounds horrendous, sailing round and round the Atlantic Ocean, hopelessly lost and with only bananas to eat, your teeth will drop out and within a week you'll be coughing up blood. I think NCL offers a similar cruise.

      Onboard a luxurious Cunard cruise ship (one of the Queens!) is more Hattatt style.

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  5. I hope the good ship Ruby Princess adds the pizza/hotdog creation to their menu names it after Carmen!

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    1. I didn't say what she did with the hotdog did I? she would roll the hotdog up in the pizza slice starting at the tapered end and then bring herself to gastronomic orgasm, once finished, she'd belch and say "Oh, I could just eat that again" It wasn't a pretty sight. Now she's moaning because she's gained 9lbs, serves her right, the greedy bitch!

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  6. It sounds delightful. I do hope Carmen made it back with you and that you didn't sell her back into white slavery in Turkey.

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    1. I could have exchanged her for a camel but what use is a camel to me. A camel isn't going to do the washing up or make the beds, is it? I can't see Carmen bent over a loom making Turkish carpets either, too fiddly, she's got fingers like pork sausages.

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  7. Mistress MJ has added a new word to her lexicon thanks to Mitzi...

    "punkawallah"

    All this time I'd referred to them as Asian houseboys.

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    Replies
    1. I first heard the word from the 1970's sitcom "It Ain't Half Hot Mum" set in the second world war in India. BTW I've only ever seen the programme shown on UK Gold I'm far too young to remember it first time round.

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