There is a couple of birds nesting in the red bushes in my front garden. I know expressions such as "Kill two birds with one stone" are not suppose to be taken literally, but as I stood there, watching their comings and goings and shittings on my drive, I thought, how easy it would be to catch them in a net first before battering them to death with a brick. Rest assured my dear readers I could never be so cruel, in fact I've been feeding em dried Mealworms I bought especially from the pound shop so they can stay at home and look after their chicks.
At the place I lived before I moved here, a blackbird used to come to my balcony in the evening. And sing a bit. And shit the hell of the dayly worm food out of its tiny arse - blam! I accepted the shit for the beauty of the bird. The singing of blackbirds is also crap imho, Oh Greek God.
ReplyDeleteDid it used to perch on your finger and sing to you like the Robin did in Mary Poppins?
ReplyDeleteMine are sparrows with a death wish, with the number of cats we have around here, it's only a matter of time. I'll come home one evening to find the lawn covered with blood, bird guts and feathers.
I found a dead magpie in the Palais grounds yesterday. Another in a long line of feathered messes I have been finding since the next door neighbours kindly moved out several months ago. But, they unkindly left behind their cat. It has gone all feral now despite my attempts to cajole it with tempting morsels. I think it's current murderous behaviour is purely a reflection on the "Ferality" of it's previous owners... the bastards! Alas, I shall continue to persist in my endeavours to tame the savage beast, and try and catch the feral pussy....
ReplyDeletePerhaps I could try smearing myself in Peck's Paste?
ReplyDeleteTry growing some catnip Princess, they go mad for it. I wouldn't mind scoring some for myself.
ReplyDeleteMight I suggest a BB Gun? How about a Potato Gun? It's harmless and will shew the little pests away.
ReplyDeleteThe old lady that lived in my house had hundreds of bird feeders and the little hungry things came the next year expecting food and instead found hungry cats waiting for them.
Relax...I go to the dollar store and fill the feeders on weekly basis. Besides Shareeka chased all my cats away.
Now I wake up to the sounds of happy little chirping and they fly in my window each morning and bathe me, dress me, and make breakfast and coffee...
I used to own both Ayem8y, when I was a nipper. I would line up my sister's dolls on the fence and let them have it, then I would have a tea party afterwards with the casualties, it was quite grotesque.
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