Monday, 20 September 2010

Regulation Perm

I remember my mother having long blonde hair just like Sue Wilkinson's in this video. Sometimes she'd have it styled in a glamorous chignon with a silk scarf tied loosely into it. About four years ago she turned 60, and what happens to most women in Britain when they turn 60?  They develop a penchant for perms and comfortable shoes.

It's like a great dictator has landed on their doorstep with a scroll: Today is your 60th birthday, you are hereby ordered by the government to attend Madame Beryl's Salon at 1430 hrs, where you will be given the regulation perm. Please note, that a checked pleated skirt and brown crepe flat soled shoes must be worn at all times. It's heartbreaking.


  1. I suppose a mobility scooter is on it's way?

    Poor thing. Wasn't there anything you could have done?

    Makes me glad to be an American where we have the choice to perm.

  2. I never knew that such an event occurred.

  3. ...and they also have to go to the raincoat and headscarf shop...

  4. I have seen her eyeing up a display of mobility scooters. The Quingo five wheel scooter was a particular favourite of hers. I quickly took her by the elbow and led her out the shop.

    My mother changed her appearance when she stopped lusting after Cliff Richard (he lives with a former priest!). She acually likes the shorter cut "It's easier to manage" she says.

    There is no compulsory perm. I was only joking Michael. Where do you think we are The Middle East?

    And the plastic rain hood shop and the giant foot mitt shop and the lap tray with a bean bag cushion (ideal for tv dining) shop, the polyester shop, the arm rest remote control organiser shop.

    My mother looks very similar to Pat from Eastenders. It's such a shame.

  5. It could be worse.

    I'm thinking Pauline Fowler.

    Or Dot Branning.

  6. Pauline Fowler (I've forgot her real name) was beautiful in Are You Been Serviced.

  7. Wendy Richards was her real name and I just about fell off my perch when someone told me that Miss Brahms and Pauline Fowler were one and the same actress.

  8. Hi there

    Can I link to this post please?